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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Just a thought...Is it fair?

We are 18 weeks today. Seems to be quiet at the moment, but our next scan is not due until around week 20. Balingup is now finished and we believe we now have tenants which is a big relief. Now we can start on our house. Vince is nearing the end of his Masters and I know he is looking forward to not studying again for a while. I really am so proud of him for sticking it out. It could have been so easy to chuck it in  with everything that has been going on. Our friend in the States has been told that the initial pregnancy test is positive and apparently he is bouncing off the walls. Sounds like fun and we are so very happy for him.

Now for the thought for the week. We have just spent the night with our amazing friend who lost her husband last month. It was great to spend some time with her and the boys. We have really missed them over the weeks and really needed to spend the time with them. As we do when we get together we sit and talk for ages. A topic that came up was guardianship for the twins. As the biological father I have all the usual rights as a parent. However as my Partner, under current laws, Vince has no parental rights. This means we have to go through the courts to get guardianship of the Twins for Vince so that if God forbid something happens to me or if the kids ever have to go to hospital, he is recognised as the legal guardian and next of kin. This I believe is not to much of an arduous process but can be costly having to get legal advice and council. However if we want to go that step further and apply for Vince to adopt we apparently have Buckley's chance and would have to spend thousands of dollars fighting through the courts. This we have been told is hard enough for step parents in straight families and next to near impossible for gay male parents. If you are a gay lesbian couple you can put your names on the birth certificate right from the word go (and that is great).

In January this year a whole swag of Federal legislation changed to recognise gay couples as defacto partners. Guess which ones. All the ones that allowed the government to tax and charge them as equal to straight couples. So the government gave us a whole lot of equality, as long as it got a few more cents out of us. So we pay the same taxes as a family unit with a double income, even though Vince has no legal recognition as a parent. Now does that seem fair.

Don't get me wrong. Some of the changes were very positive in regards to superannuation and inheritance. I also believe we should be paying our fair share of  taxes. But, on equal footing as a family unit (regardless of marriage, which is a whole other debate). I have never really been very active as a campaigner for gay rights and so far have believed that they will evolve as society evolves. Marriage would be nice. We have been together for many more years than some of our separated and divorced friends and family and really do not believe that it is something we need to have. Not being recognised as a whole family unit is however, I believe, unfair. I'm sure that the two Grandmothers would agree that it stinks!


PS: Between the two of them and some amazing friends, we no longer need any size 0000-00. In fact I think we will be able to cloth half an orphanage!! I have also been told that pink is fine and if they are both boys, no one sees what they wear at home. We are not allowed to know the sex of the babies until they arrive because it is against the law in India due to infanticide. So they are covering all the bases. Both Grandfathers however are getting shitty with all the "but it was on sale" excuses. Talk about piggy in the middle.

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