Karmic Gift

The Moore-Mazoue Pride

2011-03-20T04:48:00.002+08:00

For those who have followed Karmic Gift, The Moore-Mazoue Pride blog is a continuation of the story of our journey to becoming parents and being parents. The blog is going to be from my perspective where as Karmic Gift was written for our Willow and Taylor. I hope to share our experiences, feelings, opinions and lessons learned. Below is the link to this blog:

http://mooremazoueclan.blogspot.com/

A message from your Dads

2011-03-11T07:43:00.000+08:00

This letter was written by Vince and I before we left India. It is meant to be a closure for this blog. There will be no more postings on Karmic Gift. I will however, due to lots of encouragement, be starting a new blog soon. Vince and I thank all of our readers and we hope you have enjoyed following us on this journey. Those wanting information on the surrogacy process are welcome to email us and we will assist where possible.

Dear Willow and Taylor,

You are the result of 20 years of love and commitment between your two Dad's. Two Dad's who met when they were both young and still deciding their own paths in life. After they met they knew that they both wanted a life with each other. They also knew that as much as their love was enough, their was always room for something a little more. A family of their own. They held onto this dream and investigated every possibility and opportunity with an innate passion. Eventually they found a way to create their own family and they pursued it with just as much passion and where successful in fulfilling that element of their lives that was missing. Your arrival filled that void and made them complete.

Both Dad's are lucky enough to have amazing families that have loved and supported them over the years. These are now your families, who at the moment are desperate to meet you and to smother you with love and joy. To accept you into their lives as grandchildren, nieces and cousins. They also have some amazing friends who too are waiting to meet you. All of these people will surround you and Shepard you through life, providing love, guidance and support.

An amazing gift was given to your Dad's by a lady that they have never met. It was her choice to anonymously provide us with hers eggs to allow us to conceive you. It was also the gift of another amazing lady to carry you and provide you with life. Neither of us have the words to express our thanks to these two amazing human beings. But we need you to know that we are forever grateful to them for the gift that they have given us, in you. There is no denying the commercial nature of your arrival into this world. Ours was a commercial arrangement and we will always acknowledge this. However we tried with all of our might to try and infuse some love and spirit into the whole process. We need you to know that the dollar value of this process will never and can never reflect your worth to us. You are our greatest treasure, our greatest act in life, our legacy.

We decided long ago that we would make a record of this journey and that we would always provide you with as much information as possible. We would not with hold any information and always provide the truth when asked. This blog goes a long way towards that. There are things that were not appropriate to share in a public forum and this information is always there for you should you wish. The blog is also to help others who are investigating surrogacy as a process of having a family of their own. It was also a means of sharing the journey with the family and friends we have spoken of. We hope is meets some of the needs you will have in regards to wanting to know where you came from. It was also meant to increase the understanding of others so that maybe, they could grow to be a little more tolerant.

You have a unique heritage, being born in the country many consider the cradle of civilisation and belonging to one of the world's youngest nations. Your ancestry can be traced back to the 1400's and much of it has been recorded thanks to industrious members of the family. We have decided to always acknowledge your Indian connection but will raise you as little Aussies and to the best of our abilities, as children of the Earth.

Ours is a family. Make no mistake about that. You are our daughters. We will love, nourish, protect and shelter you as you go through life. There are going to be times when our family is judged by others and you will be faced with the ignorance of others. At times they may seek to harm you out of their own beliefs or hatred. We can only offer you some advice. We have always lived by the belief that you should treat others as you would like others to treat you. Respect other differences and beliefs and do not judge. At the same time do not allow others beliefs to hinder or harm you. Stand up for yourself and when you need to, trust in the others who do love you. Turn to them for help. They will always be there. No matter what anyone else says we are family. People will come to know this as time goes by. There are so many other unique families out there and through our journey we have met some of them.

We know that our time with you is going to pass quicker each day as we watch you grow. It is only a matter of time before you fly and we just want you to know that we will never hold you down or hold you back. We will encourage you to spread your wings. To take on life's challenge and find who you are. Be who you need to be. We will always be there behind you, watching and loving.

It was always our intent to record this journey as a public and permanent record for you and others. However we also knew that once you were here and home with us that we would no longer continue to make entries. Your lives should be private and our journey as a family our own. It should be your choice on what you want to share with the world. Those around you who need too will be able to follow on as part of you lives. To all those who have followed this journey we offer them thanks on your behalf.

So we say goodbye to Karmic Gift, the story of your beginning and of the creation of our family.

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

May the rains fall soft upon your fields,

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand

Love, peace and best wishes to you both.

Dad and Papa.

Memories

2011-03-09T09:52:00.002+08:00

Life consists of moments in time, perpetually moving forward until that instant when the moments cease to exist. Moments become memories, never to happen again. We capture these memories with our minds and try to save them with technology in an attempt to relive them. Some moments are so precious that they take precedence above all. Moments can easily be missed or not recognised for the momentous occasion that they are. We are trying to capture all of the moments we are currently experiencing. Trying to slow the pace of time. To savour each moment, good bad or other.

The last week has been trying to say the least. After such a dream start things went a little pear shaped. Taylor developed colic and reflux, going all Pro heart on our carpet and furniture. She was screaming for hours at night with neither of us able to console her. Willow decided to try feeding every other hour and to see how much she could take before spilling. Vince started his intensive unit at uni, his last unit for his MBA. He was not expecting to be at uni from 8 til 8 each day, leaving me home with two very upset little girls.

Not all moments are positive. Yet even at our worst moments this week we made amazing new memories. Thanks to the grandparents we coped and are getting through it. We had our first visit to PMH and were impressed with the care. We were in and out in less than 3 hours. Taylor has medication to help her reflux and things are settling back to what ever normality we had. So many people shared their experiences and advice with us, which helped us feel less like we were doing things wrong. Most of what we were told we already new, but it was nice to hear it from others. Vince has been amazing. He is so calm and focused when dealing with the girls. He is the most patient man I know. I a learning to control some of the more extreme emotions I am experiencing. I have always been an emotional being. I know that fatigue heightens these emotions and have learned to recognise when I need to step back and recharge. I have also been able to support Vince by trying to ensure that he has been getting the support he needs. But I will be glad when this week is over and I know he definitely will too.

Now about those moments that they don't tell you about. I have never been so constipated in my life! lol. It seems that every time I want to go to the littlest room in the house the girls have other plans for me. I never quite get to drink enough myself. Or the fashion faux pas when you get up in the middle of the night and realise that everything is on backwards and in side out. That your shirt has lovely white marks down the back of it. Or that baby vomit is acid enough to cause a lite bleaching affect on some clothing items. That two little human beings can manage to produce an entire hamper of washing in one day and if you don't hang the washing out straight away and leave it sitting in the basket wet that the dyes of some items will run. Often creating interesting patterns on your best shirt. That you do not hold a baby that has reflux up in front of your face because they will vomit in your mouth. I won't go on because I am embarrassed!!

I have been able to get out a little with Willow and Taylor. Mostly catching up with work friends and colleagues. I have to admit that I get a thrill out of every one's responses to the girls.

We attended an open day at the Perth Montessori school. The Montessori system has always appealed to us and we wanted to learn more and see what the local school was like. The Perth Montessori takes 0-17 year old allowing children to complete their entire education at one school. We both came away even more committed to giving the girls a Montessori education. Everyone made us so welcome and we love the fact that the school has a very strong focus on community. I am planning to visit the play group in the next month or so. Besides this school we would be happy with our local primary school. Is is one of the older ones in the area and again has a great community feel. Secondary school is another matter. We do not want to send the girls to a religious school. Mainly because at sometime or other they will be told that the love that their parents have for each other is wrong and neither of us wants that. The Montessori system teaches values and tolerance.

Live in the moment and enjoy the memories. J.

Vince, Willow, Taylor and I want to welcome little Isla Ann McPharlin into the world!

Hugh and his new sister Isla

Comments

2011-02-28T18:11:00.000+08:00

This is a public blog and therefore I will leave comments that are simply a statement of belief. The girls can judge for themselves their relevance. However I will remove any comments that threaten any kind of negative act against Willow and Taylor. It would be nice though for people to have courage in their convictions and beliefs and not post comments anonymously.

Heat Wave

2011-02-26T18:43:00.001+08:00

I'm so hot!

Grandpere has been here today finishing off putting ceiling fans in for us. Grandmere baby sat the girls while we attended an open day at the local Montessori school. We were impressed and are going to enrol the girls. But more on that later. Today's topic is the heatwave we are experiencing. The humidity is stifling and the fact that our minimum temperature has not been under 20c for over a week is not helping anyone sleep at night. Even though they are sleeping longer, they are not getting quality sleep and are very unsettled. They are also feeding more to keep hydrated from sweating so much. We have bought a new split system for our living room which is not going in until the 9th March. I think we may well camp in the one room if the weather is still the same after that. So far we have been lucky to keep the dreaded heat rash at bay. Mosquitos are another story. Both the girls have bites everywhere despite using sprays and repellents (not on the girls). We have never had problems with mosquitos inside before. They seem to be everywhere. Tomorrow we are going to put up the net we have.

One saving grace is that Willow and Taylor both love a bath and the shower. It is a great way to cool them off and make them a little more comfortable.

Another bonus us that the washing has dropped off. It has been so hot that the girls are most comfortable in just a singlet and nappy. So much for the expensive Grobags (although they are great and work well). It is just to hot for them. Even the 1 tog are too warm.

Curry and Brown Dogs

2011-02-21T09:50:00.001+08:00

When we got home Vince's Mum told us that the family was coming for lunch at our place on the 20th to meet the girls and to celebrate Uncle Jacks birthday. Rae said not to worry, that everyone was bringing a dish and that we would not have to lift a finger. Well that was yesterday. It went so well and we did not have to lift a finger. So we would like to volunteer for these types of gatherings anytime :-). There was a great choice of food including chicken curry. The problem with all the curry dishes is the brown dog affect afterwards. Brown Dogs is the affectionate name for farting in Vince's family and some people are better at it than others. Uncle Jack and Deb cooked samosas which were so yummy when freshly cooked. I was able to share a special bottle of bubbly that I had and the women of the family wet the girls head with a toast and a promise to be there for them for advice, guidance and support. When everyone left there was only a couple of dishes to put away and a few chairs to put back in the shed.

We were having such a great time catching up with everyone and showing off Willow and Taylor that we forgot one of our other babies. Spike the tennis ball marauder is a typical Kelpie. As long as someone is throwing a ball he will run all day. Yesterday that is what he did. There was a group of very enthusiastic kids willing to throw the ball and he was having a ball (literally). The problem was that we normally limit this to an hour or so because we know what he is like. Of course we never thought and he ran himself to the point of heat exhaustion and we almost lost him. Luckily our friend Louise noticed the change in him and called me. He then collapsed. He got worse and was incontinent and at times non responsive. We cooled him and gave him fluids slowly. We could not get hold of our vet. Mum called our friend Jude who is a vet and she was so great. Jude came over and checked him, gave him some IV fluids and sub cut fluids. By nine thirty he was back on his feet, albeit a little groggy and a little worse for wear. We are keeping him very quiet and hydrated. Being as tired as we were, we were very emotional and Jude was very comforting. We owe Jude big time.

We also had a laugh because Spike was continually leaking urine while Jude was treating him. So Vince whacked a couple of the girls nappies under him and we all laughed thinking that we would never have dreamed that we would use them for that. As he began to respond to the fluids and became more aware of himself he was mortified that he was wetting inside. Poor Spikey. So after all the brown dogs during the day, it was our black dog that caused us the most grief. No balls or kongs at the next gathering!!

Life is never dull.

Those moments in time

2011-02-20T07:31:00.001+08:00

Some people have amazing talents. The girls have been blessed with a number of very special gifts that have been hand crafted for them. I have been overwhelmed with peoples generosity. I know that I need to write thank you cards on behalf of the girls. At the start I was keeping a book with a list of who gave us what. However I soon lost track because there were so many. I will endeavour to sit one day and send cards. In reality it may not happen with how busy the girls keep us.

So we need to express our gratitude to all those who have provided us with gifts for

Willow and Taylor

Thank you!

Unpacking seemed to take us almost a whole week. At one stage it felt like someone spewed baby all over the house. Most everthing is now back in it's rightful place and the house is almost back in order . We have had a lot of help from our Mum's who have come and cared for the girls while we get on with it. They have also helped sort cloths, washed and ironed as well. As much as it has been a help having them do all of this, the special moments of watching them with their granddaughters are what we will remember. My Mum has had her first teary call with a tired, overwhelmed son on the end of the line uttering the single word of "help". I think this made her whole week. I know that her arriving and taking two very tired girls and cuddling them until they settled while I found the paperwork I was desperately looking for made my day. I was trying to find the documents I needed to go and get the girls their medicare cards. They now both have Medicare cards and I have registered for the Paid Parental Leave.

Willow and Taylor like so many babies have their night and day mixed up. They sleep all day (despite our constant attempts to keep them awake and numerous cuddles from so many people) and then are waking for almost hourly feeds over night. We have been given so much advice and read all the online blogs, baby sites and even some research, most of all follow a similar theme. We have tried most of the advice to no avail. Time is going to prove the best remedy and we pretty much knew that. Working together as a team we are coping. We are tired and not functioning as well as we would like but we knew all of this. We are managing to get into a routine and are relishing the motivation that these two little human beings are creating for us. For every time we snap at each other (which is rare) there are twice many grins, smile and tears of joy. Amazingly we have still manages a little us time. This might be sharing a quick meal, snatching ten minutes of a movie together or just a quite cuddle and conversation about our daughters!

One of the gifts we received was a solid 6 hours sleep when Lorissa came and stayed for the night. She volunteered the do a night shift with the girls. Poor thing was doing hourly feeds all night and looked shattered in the morning. We were so grateful and secretly pleased that the girls followed their usual pattern. It meant they weren't just doing it for us.

Anyone who knows us knows that one of our most favourite places is Bunnings. It's used to be about three or four local hardware stores. But they have all since gone out of business, mostly due to Bunnings. The girls were lucky enough to have their first outing to Bunnings just two days after arriving home. They were very well behaved and also meant that we got lots of personal service.

Some of the best moments we have had so far have been those silly little moments when something so simple can make you laugh from deep in your belly. They girls are really good at creating those moments. Like when we went for tea at Grandmere and Grandpere's. Grandmere offered to hold Taylor who was demanding a cuddle while the rest of us ate. Taylor paid Grandmere back with one of the biggest pukes we have seen. It was huge and Grandmere just took it in her stride. Or when Taylor showed us she was a big girl and could hold her own bottle (with the pram's help). These are the moments in time that we are learning to appreciate and treasure. So much has happened and I would love to put it all down for prosperity. But I don't want to miss any of the moments. So unfortunately they have to wait until I can steal away a few moments with the computer.

Today we have some of Vince's family coming to our house to celebrate Uncle Jack's birthday. Everyone is bringing a dish and we have been told that we don't have to do anything, that everyone else will take care of it. That we just enjoy every one's company and let everyone meet the girls. We are looking forward to it. The only thing that is concerning us it that the baby stuff that I mentioned earlier still looks like it has been spewed all over the house and the house needs some serious TLC in regards to dust and fur balls. But hey. We have only been home a week and a bit.

At least the house will be nice and cool. Yesterday Grandpere came and put ceiling fans in most of the rooms of the house. The evaporative airconditioning does not cope with the humidity. Mumbai was hot but very dry and the girls (and Dad!) are not coping with the humidity. Willow and Taylor were very grateful to Grandpere. Especially because they slept well last night because the fans kept them cool.

Well best be off to collect some of the fur balls before everyone arrives.

Getting to Know you

2011-02-18T10:25:00.003+08:00

Aroma Therapy

We have been home for a week now and are still just settling in. There is still stuff all over the house and we are slowly finding space for everything we accumulated while away. One of our favourite moments since getting home was when we opened the back door after arriving home from the airport. Spike, Bilbo and Maggy never expected us to be there and it took them a few seconds to register who had opened the door at that time of the morning. At this point I should apologise to our neighbours for the noise because Spike and Bilbo both started that excited yelping that only a dog can do. They then did the stationary run action as the tried to gain grip on the floor to race to us.

All the rules went out the window and they jumped, licked, howled and even let go of a little wee in their excitement. Maggy was even excited and was rubbing on our legs. Then they spotted these two noisy creatures and just stood still. Bilbo had a look saying "new toy's'". Spike was immediately on guard. At the first cry Maggy retreated to our ensuite, or her private abode as she likes to think. We know Spike will take time to adjust to not being the number one and we are giving him lots of support. Even a little aroma therapy (see the photo with one of the girls bibs on). All three of our animal babies have been very well behaved. We will keep an eye on them and have not left them alone with the girls. Bilbo the food hobbit is always very interested in the bottles. Maggy loves all of the extra piles of washing to curl up on. Spike, well he just has his nose out joint. But when they are old enough to throw a ball they will be his best friends. For now though we just want him to take ownership of them as part of the pack.

During the first week we have had a number of visitors and had a couple of outings. I have said before that we were so lucky having the time to ourselves with Willow and Taylor to bond and become the new family that we are. It also meant that we were ready to see our friends and family and to share our girls. Being as proud as we are there is also a little aspect of showing off. The "look what we did" factor. I have added a few photos to capture some of the special visitors we have had so far. I know the girls aren't even aware of the world around them at the moment. So I really want to capture the moments of love, acceptance, trust and support they have experienced during the past week. I have also added numerous shots to the slide show on the main page.

As you can see the girls love to play pass the parcel. They are so good and don't mind at all. As long as someone along the line has a bottle waiting for them.

We love our family and friends dearly and want to thank them all again. It is great to be home.

J, V, W & T

Night and Day

2011-02-15T23:00:00.001+08:00

This has been the longest break between posts for a while. It has something to do with a pair of little girls who have taken over our lives. We have the "new parent" vague look that I have heard about also according to a number of people who have commented as such. We are not quite exhausted, but very tired. Willow and Taylor have their night and day reversed, as is the case with so many newborns. We are working through the various methods of trying to reverse their sleeping patterns. They have so far been resistant to all attempts. So we will persevere and cope as you do. One of the best things about being home is the help that is out there and we are not afraid to seek it. After all the girls come first and we are no use to them if we are dead on our feet. The best thing though is that we are home.

The trip home was no where near as bad as it could have been. The only complaint we could make was that we were stung for excess luggage when we checked in. The cost was $A475 dollars and I know that it was wrong. Dad had used his frequent flyer points to request and upgrade for us and we were lucky enough to be upgraded for both legs. We knew the night before we were due to leave and were not concerned about our luggage because the upgrade gave us extra check in weight. All of our bags were only about a kilo over each. When we checked in though the girl checking us in was more interested in making sure that someone was relieving her and checked our luggage at economy weights and also included the travel cot in the weight so we were 12 kilos over according to her and she was not interested in listening. Unfortunately I was also not interested in arguing and did not want to rock the boat. We were already a bit of a novelty and had attracted attention. We had quite an audience. So I paid the bill so that we could get our boarding passes. Then one of the senior staff who was processing the bill realised the girls mistake. They kindly tried to reverse the transaction on my credit card. It took five people and almost 3/4 of an hour to realise that they did not know how to do it. The girls were due a feed by this time and were starting to stir, so I told them to leave it.

When we got to the immigration desk we were really nervous. Sometimes it all depends on who is serving you. We had a really generous man who complimented the girls, processed us without any questions and wished us luck and a safe journey. Going through security was also a breeze and we were able to move onto the Qantas Club where we had coffee, fed and changed the girls before boarding. At this stage we were very thankful of Pop and his frequent flyer points. When we boarded and turned left instead of right it was a whole new world. We were assisted to settle and then offered drinks. The sky beds were awesome and the massage function very welcome. At this stage Pop was a hero!! The staff on both flights could not help us enough and were very considerate. The girls behaved the whole way and we managed to get a little sleep. We nursed the girls on our chests for most of the trip and just thoroughly enjoyed it. The three course meal was a welcome treat (especially the sweets trolley). We partook of a little champers, which meant that I did doze and without my CPAP machine I annoyed our fellow travellers more that the girls occasional squawk with my snoring.

Being the size that I am (oh, and I lost 10kg while away. That makes a total of 21kg since May. Yay me) I was a little concerned that I would not be able to use the toilets to change the girls and unfortunately hand balled this to Vince. Then on the last leg I thought "this is crazy. I have to be able to do it" and tired with success. One more excuse not to change the girls down the drain!

As we came into land in Perth we both got very emotional. We were so happy and we sat there and cried tears of joy as the plane touched down, on time! At immigration we had another generous gentleman who welcomed home the "new Aussies" and again wished us luck. We were home.

As we got our luggage a Qantas lady approached us as to see the "gorgeous" babies who "looked to young to travel and be away from their Mum". When I explained that they were mine and Vince's and that they were just arriving home we got bombarded with twenty questions and showered with praise. She then proceeded to have us ushered through customs to let the "little darlings get to there waiting family and friends". Needles to say I was very grateful because I had declared a number of things and on her say so "that there was nothing dangerous" the customs lady let us through.

As we walked through the gate we spotted Grandmere, Grandpere, Grandma, Sandra, Tess, Damian, Geoffrey, Peter, Alison, Jack and Deb, all there to welcome us home. Poor Grandma had been sick and we initially said that it might be best that she not come. Then we said to come but to stand back, use hand gel and were a mask. But when the time came I could not do it to her. The twins had survived 5 weeks in Mumbai. They could survive a desperate grandparent. So I walked up to Mum and place Taylor in her arms. It was one of those moments that would make a chick flick worth it. You know, a beaches moment. We both cried and I could see the absolute pure love and joy flowing from this women who only wants to love and has always needed someone to love. The same was true when Grandpere took Willow and then Grandmere. By this time we had also garnered an audience and we even had strangers coming up to us congratulate us. One lady came up and told us that she had watched us all the way from Mumbai and new that "those girls have been blessed with two amazing loving fathers". I am so glad that we always carry hankies in our pockets.

Well that was our arrival. I need to go and get a few hours sleep before the girls stir and so will say good night with the promise of another post to come shortly.

J.

We're Home

2011-02-10T23:13:00.000+08:00

We are home and it is everything we wanted, expected and more. But, just a single photo tonight. It says so many words. We are so exhausted and are going to bed so I will make another posting shortly. Lorissa has kindly come to do the night shift for us so we can sleep. But this picture as I said says so much:

Grandmere and Grandma

Thank You India and Farewell

2011-02-09T02:59:00.000+08:00

Today was our last day in India. It has been a long journey, with more ups than downs. We have been blessed and are leaving with our new family. As much as we could not wait to go home, we were a little sad to say our goodbyes today. This country has allowed us to fulfil one of our deepest dreams. It could not be any more different than home, but so similar in others.

One of the thank yous and goodbyes we got to say today was to the wonderful birth mother of our Willow and Taylor. Dr Meenakshi organised a celebratory lunch in our little princesses honour. Invited were another couple from Canada and also Alan from Australia who we have been liaising with via email. We were provided with a delectable feast of local cuisine all home cooked. It was amazing and I went back for thirds with out hesitation. Following lunch we got to see our surrogate and to show her the amazing gift she had afforded us in our two girls. As is her beautiful nature, she allowed us to have some photos taken and we took advantage to get a shot of her with us and the twins. For us this was one of those life moments that you just don't forget. Dr Meenakshi also joined in, feeding the girls and posing for a picture or two. We really enjoyed the moment and it was even more special when we were able to give our surrogate the small token of thanks we had bought.

Earlier we had discussed the possibility of providing ongoing support to our surrogates family. Dr Meenakshi has agreed to organise for us to provide some ongoing support in assisting our surrogates own children to attend school and complete their early education, if our surrogate agrees. We can do this by paying tuition directly to the school. It is up to her and her family whether or not to accept the offer. We hope that we can. If not we have investigated other ways to contribute. We are so lucky and it would be nice to be able to give back a little. So many of our friends are involved in various organisations and it would make us happy to continue our involvement with the growing community of surrogates in India who are simply trying to provide for their families.

Tonight we spent a couple of hours packing. It took a while to try and sort out our belongings which seemed to double in the weeks that we have been here. We have managed to fill a whole third suitcase with various purchases. eventually it all fitted. The only concern we have is the actual weight of the cases when we get to the airport. We are both very relieved that thanks to my Dad's frequent flyer points we are flying home business class (unless Qantas decides to revoke our upgrade overnight). It will be nice having the space with the two girls.

We say thank you and take our leave. Unsure whether or not we will be back. Only the future knows that.

Night,

FRRO

2011-02-05T18:23:00.001+08:00

FRRO Mumbai

Foreign Regional Registration Offices is part of the Indian Department of Immigration. It is where we had to go to get an exit visa approved for the girls. You need a valid visa to enter and leave India. As Willow and Taylor where born here and only obtained Australian Citizenship after their birth they had no valid visa in their new passports. With out one, we could not take them out of India. So it was the final piece in the puzzle before we could bring them home.

If you have done a Dr Google search on the FRRO you might well have read some of the horror stories that we had. But we were in and out in less than 3 hours. The staff were friendly, if not efficient and were very considerate of us with the babies. Being a Saturday morning it was also a bit quieter. I just made sure i had everything on the list Mike and Youseff gave us and it all went very smoothly.

We thought about changing our flights again, but a couple of extra days is not worth the hassle and cost. At least now I am relaxed. Vince is catching up on some much needed sleep and I am here staring at our girls and shooing off the house cleaning boys who seem determined to clean our room rather frequently of late. I know they love looking at the babies. They all grin and chatter about them as they clean the room.

In our excitement on leaving the FRRO we forgot to take a picture. So this one is borrowed from Dr Google. They also get a bit funny about you photographing government buildings, so there was not many to choose from.

When we get back to Australia I am going to post a guide for dealing with the bureaucratic process based on our experience and the information we have gathered along the way. At the moment I don't seem to have the time between feeds and am really only catching the various mile stones for Willow and Taylor.

Now do I clean the bottles next or hang the washing. Nope. Nice cuppa and then a cuddle before the next feed. Cuddle of the girls that is. An earthquake would not wake Vince at the moment. He has taken the brunt of the night feeds for the past couple of days. Tonight I am going to play the night owl. A role that is usually mine anyway. It is usually me on the computer or watching a show at midnight with noddy, plus or minus drool, sitting next to me. He has always said that he can't sleep until I am in the bed and so sits up. I guess sleeping on the couch with a hyper extended neck is much easier. Funny thing is that I actually love him sitting there. It is comforting. From now on though I reckon it will be a race to see who gets to sleep first.

Passports

2011-02-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

Look what I've got!!

The Embassy called this morning and said the girls passports would be ready for this afternoon. So I took another trip with Mr Singh and look what I've got.

Tomorrow the FRRO is open and so Mr Singh is picking us up at 8am. Fingers crossed by tomorrow night we will have jumped all the hoops and can then just relax for a couple of days until our flight.

Going to celebrate now with a stiff Bacardi and a slice of pizza.

Our Little Aussies

2011-02-04T01:32:00.001+08:00

There was a great surprise in our inbox this morning. An email from Varun at the High Commission confirming the girls Citizenship by Descent. It included copies of their certificates. I am so glad it was just us here. We both broke into idiotic grins, done our happy dance and started shouting Aussie Aussie Aussie Oy Oy Oy! If we had neighbours they would have quickly turned on the TV to check if Australia had scored in the cricket (honestly they are cricket obsessed in this country). I was on the phone to the Mumbai Embassy and scored an appointment to submit the girls passport applications in the early afternoon. Vince booked our favourite taxi driver Mr Singh and I quickly showered and threw together all the documentation (it is almost as thick as a novel now). It took nearly two hours in the taxi, due to traffic, to get to the Embassy. They were really help full and it only took as long as it took me to complete the forms. They are quite used to surrogacy cases by now and it is quite a smooth process.

I can collect the girls temporary passports at 0930am on Monday and then it is off to the Foreigner Regional Registration Office (FRRO) to get an exit permit. Mr Singh has kindly offered his services for the day. I have read horror stories about this place and was a little nervous that it would be the spanner in the works. But Michael and Youseff were kind enough to let Vince tag along when they went, as a reconnaissance mission. The process went smoothly for them and Vince got some great intelligence from his recon. So here's hoping it goes smoothly for us as well. Our tickets have been changed so that we fly out at 1030am on Wednesday the 9th February.

I have to say that I am so relieved. As much as it has been so rewarding having this time with just our new family nestled away with nothing to do but get to know one another, home is appealing. We are surviving with what we have accumulated in the unit and it is livable. But is only just an existence. We have to wash every day and are constantly washing bottles. At home we have enough that these can be done with a little more leisure. We also have so many amazing clothes and other items that we could be using. It also means that we do not have to boil the kettle 10 to 20 times a day. We have been a little OCD with using boiled water for everything, but given that the girls are so small and had a little bit of a rough start we owe it to them to give them the best chance of not catching anything.

We are also missing our other babies Spike, Bilbo and Maggy. I can't wait for a Spikey hug. Both of us are also really looking forward to lots of hugs and kisses from family and friends. After all it is all about us. the girls might be lucky to get some attention when we get home.

I have asked to see our surrogate before we go and we have some gifts for her and her family. Dr Meenakshi has said she will set up a meeting. Let's hope it comes off. We really want to say thank you in person. We also want to show her how much the girls are being loved and cared for.

Well this Dad (and Papa) are going to try and catch an hours sleep before the next feed. the way Taylor is groaning, it is going to be a long night again. She has the worst gas and it is so hard to get up. Willow is just a wind machine. Puts her Dad to shame.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OY OY OY!

Follow Up

2011-02-02T01:25:00.001+08:00

Plumb tuckered out

We ventured back to Surya Children's Hospital today for the girls follow up appointment. Dr Kabra was happy with their progress. Both had put on weight and grown a little. They are now both 49cm long and both their heads are 32cm. Taylor at 2.36kg has taken over from Willow at 2.24kg as the heavier twin. We weren't surprised based on how well Taylor is feeding. We also had to take them for their eye follow up and both were normal. The actual test was not very pleasant and we know now why there eyes are a little swollen. But it did not seem to hurt them. They just didn't like the bright light. After another day out and about they were both exhausted when we got home. It was also one of the hottest days we have had since being here and they are like me and feel the heat. So we left them in only their nappies and these little singlets to cool off. They both went out for the count. We both hope they may sleep for a little longer between each feed tonight. Well here's hoping, anyway.

Night,
J.

In Sympathy

2011-01-31T23:34:00.001+08:00

We received some very upsetting news today from our friend Steve. We met Steve very early in this journey when we first came to India and I have spoken of him in a number of posts. He became a friend and we have remained in contact, sharing our journeys, both the ups and downs. He has been so very supportive of us and we have been so excited to hear his progress towards becoming a father. Unfortunately today Steve's twin girls where still born. So we send Steve our heart felt condolences and offer him our love and support as he grieves for his lost angels. Being so far away makes it difficult to offer any support other than to know we are with you in spirit and can only offer our true sympathy. Words seem inadequate to express the sadness we feel. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Love, your Aussie Mates

Jem and Vince

Love and other things....

2011-01-29T22:19:00.001+08:00

Tiredness: adj, Exhausted of strength or energy, fatigued.

Yes we are both tired. It was inevitable and something we knew would be part of this amazing experience. We both wear it as a badge of honour. Who could see it as such a bad thing when at 3am when the rest of the world is asleep, a little human being looks up at you and smiles as the wind in their tummy shifts. Then we look at each other and grin. Well we grin, between the yawns.

Love: noun, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

We are both so in love with our baby girls and have been so overwhelmed with the beginning of our new family. There are so many emotions involved, that the definition above just does not reflect them. Love is innate and therefore pure. At this time in our lives, love again is pure.

Peace: noun, Inner contentment; serenity.

At home we have a mortgage (well two at the moment), car loans, bills, work and so on. In our little world that is apartment A603 Oritel Serviced apartments Mumbai, they do not seem to exist. We feel at peace and know that these two beings make all of that seem insignificant. They are worth what we will return to. For now we will just enjoy the tranquility that exists in our hearts.

Yesterday I rang the lab doing our DNA test to see if they had received our samples. They were supposed to let us know. Willow and Taylor's samples had arrived but mine was still missing in action. It seems that it may have been held up by the Australia Day public holiday. The 26th January is also a public holiday in India to mark Republic Day. It celebrates the day India adopted democratic government system. They assured me that it should arrive by Monday and that it should only take five days to process. So it seems we are here for another fortnight at least.

We are both getting really homesick now and just want to get home. Home to the two dogs, cat and our own bed. To bring the girls home. To their new home. The home that Vince and I have made together and now get to share with our family. We want to introduce the twins to everyone. To let everyone shower them in the love and affection to has been flowing towards them since we first announced their impending arrival.

Youseff, Mike and Zayne at the FRRO after getting Zayne's exit visa

On the first frantic morning at the hotel we ventured down to breakfast to try and sort out a means of communicating with Dr Meenakshi so that we could find out were the twins were, when and how we could get to them. As I have mentioned in a previous blog we were both frantic with lack of sleep, adrenaline from the news of two daughters and disorientated from the sudden change in environment. The first person we saw was a white man holding a baby. We all know to never assume as it can make an ass out of u, but I automatically assumed "same-same". This is an Indian phrase that we have picked up for describing two things alike. So with only just a little frantic desperation in my voice I asked "excuse me. Do you know how to connect to the Internet?" while wielding my laptop around. He kindly suggested that I seek assistance from the front desk staff in the foyer, which I acted on immediately. This kind sir was Mike. Once I was connected to the net we went back in to properly introduce our selves. Mike and his husband Youseff were from Canada and had arrived on the 30th of December for the birth of their son Zayne. Over the past three and a bit weeks they have been great company, become friends and helped to make this time both bearable and enjoyable. Last night they were lucky enough to fly home.

Willow, Taylor and Zayne

Watching them go through the bureaucratic process has given us greater confidence that things may progress a little quicker than we anticipated and also eased our minds that we are as prepared as possible. I have often wondered how people make friends that they then visit all over the world. Now I know. This journey has also enabled us to make some great new friends that we know we will keep in touch with and hopefully get to visit in the future. We also hope that they make be able to visit us. Willow and Taylor are also going to have a network of friends that they share a common story with and can tap into should ever they need too.

I have managed to do a little shopping and have collected some adorable outfits for when we get home. This week I would like to buy a couple traditional outfits and some material to take home for Grandma and Granmere so they can make some outfits. Willow and Taylor get 10kg each of check-in luggage and I intend to make sure we use it. I know we can get clothes at home, but here they are very different and many will not be available. I have found that most of the shops in Perth all carry the same stock.

We also hope to see our surrogate sometime in the next week or so. Dr Meenakshi has said that it would be possible. We know that she is back with her family and doing well. We can't wait to introduce her to the twins and to express our eternal thanks for the gift to us.

Well it is near seven o'clock and I had better think about feeding myself before the girls start demanding their next feed. One of the positive side effects of spending time in the NICU is that both of them can sleep through anything. But when they wake up they usually wake with a bang and want things done then and there. They also developed a fairly regular routine and so it is a little easier to predict when that is going to happen. So far we have been able to problem solve each issue as it arises and seem to be coping well. We just need to work out how to take naps during the day. Something neither of us is used to or very good at. I am thinking though that it will get easier as we get more and more tired.

We are both anxious to have the girls weighed to see if they are gaining weight. Our follow up appointment is on Tuesday. They are both feeding well and demanding more each day. They are both peeing and pooing and doing everything they should.

We want to congratulate Tony and Immy on the birth of daughter Indie.

Night.
J.

PS: Happy Birthday Grand pere and Happy Wedding Anniversary Grand mere and Grand pere

Love and best wishes
Jeremy, Vince, Willow and Taylor

Willow's Home

2011-01-25T03:30:00.003+08:00

Well everything went as planned and Willow came home with us today. It was a repeat of the day Taylor came home, with just as much emotion and joy. We came home to the hotel and introduced her to Mike, Youseff and Zayne. Then we took her upstairs for her first bath and feed. Vince bathed her while I sorted out all of the paper work we got, to make sure we did not lose anything. Willow's first feed took nearly an hour to get her to take just 25mls. At the NICU they have been cup feeding her and she tires very quickly with the bottle. Taylor was the same for the first couple of days. The good thing is that Willow now weights 2.19 kg and has been gaining weight. It is going to be a long night because we are both so nervous for her.

We had to get more medications for Taylor so we asked the Guys to join us for an outing to Hiranandani Garden. We got the tablets we needed and had a quick look around the small village of shops. I managed to buy some little shoes for our god daughter, who's birthday it was while we were away, to add to her birthday present for when we get home. Then we decided to have dinner at a restaurant before returning home to Skype the grand parents. Willow took it in her stride much the same as Taylor did on her first night out. She just would not take the bottle. Vince is so very patient that he just kept offering it to her and she eventually took enough for us not to worry. For her third feed I did have to cup feed her after she only took 20mls. She took nearly 50ml in total using the cup instead of the bottle.

We are spending a great deal of time just staring at them tonight and I don't envisage us getting a lot of sleep. Mostly because we just want to hold them and lay with Willow. She is still quite flat. Well compared to Taylor. Taylor is sleeping between feeds (as long as you get all of her wind up). She is starting to interact more and definitely knows her routine. She gave her first Diva performance today while Vince was waiting for me when I was in feeding Willow before we could leave. She gave a real performance for everyone in the waiting area. There are no problems with her lungs.

I got all of the mushy stuff out of the way with this mornings post. But to Willow herself, we love and adore you and are so glad you are with us. Again, this record of your arrival is our gift to you. So you know where it is you came from. You, along with Taylor, complete your Dad and Papa.

I got my sister back!

You OK Sis?

No more shots without my agent!

Bonding or Dad napping? not sure.

Papa Kangaroo

Night,
J.

Willow

2011-01-24T09:44:00.003+08:00

Today is all about Miss Willow as we welcome her home, to join the fold that is now the Moore-Mazoue clan. We both woke early again today with the wonderful feeling of anticipation.

I have been asked a number of times now where we got the name Willow. Taylor Louise comes from my Mum, Louisa and Taylor was her Mum's middle name. Raymonde is Vince's Mum's name.

Willow is from the TV show Buffy. Buffy was and still is one of Vince and I favourite shows and we both loved the character Willow. It also happens to be the name of my favourite tree. I associate Willow's with magic and fairies, with beautiful English landscapes and tranquility. It is also know in some folklore as the tree of enchantment. The Willow is associated with the elements of water and the moon. It is also associated with femininity, love and healing. We are getting ready to collect our little bundle of feminine joy who, along with her sister, has enchanted us and mended our hearts by giving them something even more precious to love.

EDOD

2011-01-23T01:17:00.001+08:00

Tonight I just wanted to mark the occasion that today Willow and Taylor would have been 36 weeks and today was their expected date of delivery or EDOD. Instead they have been with us for 2 weeks and four days. We were told today that Willow can definitely come home on Monday.

My trip to Delhi went well. Infact it went so well I really having nothing to write about. I was nervous, but felt that I coped well. The flight was uneventful and the Commision staff were really helpful. I found Delhi a great deal cleaner than Mumbai and it looked a lot easier to navigate. I only managed to see a little from the various cab trips. One of the drivers took me on a bit of a tour for an hour or so.

So my DNA has been done. Now it is just a matter of waiting for the application to come through.

A number of people have sent me links to the following story:

Gay couple wins right to parent surrogate twins

It was heartening to read. This is our next bastion to overcome when we got home. Thanks to those who have gone before us.

We gave the slings we brought with us another go today. They work great.

Night.

J.

Home Coming

2011-01-20T23:21:00.002+08:00

On Tuesday the Australian Panel Doctor Dr Jayant Rele kindly agreed to come to the hospital and take the girls DNA test. I arranged with Dr Kabra for him to be able come and it all went to plan with everyone being so helpful. The girls had to have a heel stab similar to that needed for Guthrie's screening test done on newborns in Australia. It was all very official. The best thing was that it was one big step completed. Both the girls howled and showed that there was definitely nothing wrong with their lungs.

Yesterday morning we got up earlier than usual. I made one last pass over all of the documents we had amassed for the girls citizenship applications and then bundled them up into a satchel. We had booked our usual cool cab driver to come earlier as well. This was so that we could make a quick detour into Hiranadani Garden on the way to the hospital to send the applications by courier to the High Commission in New Delhi. I could have taken them with me when I fly to Delhi on Friday. Instead we felt that if we sent them earlier by courier, if anything was missing they could let us know and I could collect what was needed to take with me. Varun at the Commission also agreed that this was a good idea when he contacted me on the Tuesday to confirm an appointment for 230pm on Friday to have my DNA test done (after which I booked my ticket with Kingfisher Airlines to fly out 7 am Friday and back that night at 6pm, giving me a total of 9 hours in Delhi). I am just praying that it is not a heel prick!!!

So we were as organised as we could be. Off we went to Hiranandani and found Blue Dart DHL Couriers. We had read about them on a couple of other peoples blogs and thought they would offer us the best chance of getting the documents to Delhi. Turns out that we made the right choice. When I walked through the door the guy said straight away to me "Australian High Commission?". My shoulders must have dropped 10 inches as the weight of the world melted away. He then went on to say the Mr Varun must be getting old because he had been sending documents to him regularly for the last five years. I'm not sure if Varun would have appreciated this. I sure was comforted that the process has been happening for so long. it could only mean that practice makes perfect. So we can highly recommend Blue Dart as a courier. I even got to have a little conversation about the cricket. Always a favourite topic, Not! But hey, it helps to get along with people. You can track your parcel and I was even more impressed that it arrived exactly when they said it would. All for 400 rupee.

After Hiranandani we headed off to Santa Cruz the suburb where Surya Children's Hospital is. The scenery on the way has become quite familiar, even though every day we seem to take at least on little detour from the usual route. We made it to the hospital a little earlier than normal. The hospital has a number of different units which all branch off a central stair well. The girls are in the NICU on level 2. Along the wall of the stair well is a long bench seat where all of the parents congregate and wait for their turn to visit. The bench also serves as a storage locker for your shoes, which you have to take off before entering the unit. We have been privileged to be able to visit at the same time each day, outside of normal visiting hours. This is so that we respect the norm of men not being in the unit while Mums were feeding. At least that is how we understood it. So there is never really a big group here when we arrive. As we leave there is usually a large crowd of anxious parents wanting to get in. Every day there has been something different happening and the place is always so busy. So anytime we have had to spend waiting has always flown by. Some faces have also become familiar each day. I know we stick out like a sore thumb!

Having got there even earlier than usual, there was no one there and it was to early to go in. So we had time to sit there and talk. Turned out that we both had jitters in our stomach. Jitters caused by excited anticipation. Was this going to be the day that one of our little angels would come home with us. We had a bag all packed with ever thing we needed. We talked about how it was going to be hard to leave one behind. Then we both realised we needed to pee (nerves we guessed). Such a simple thing in India is not always easy. Not every where has toilet facilities. We new the hospital would and we managed to find the restroom. Anyone who has been to India will understand why I mentioned this. After a short time Dr Kabra called us into his office. He told us that Taylor was definitely being discharged today. I know we must have looked like two little kids who had gotten away with nicking a cookie from the jar. He went over how everything had to happen. What we needed to know about caring for Taylor. Then he completely surprised me by telling me that someone from the staff in the NICU had entered my name into google and this blog had come up. He said that he had read it and enjoyed it and that I wrote very well. I was a little embarrassed, but grateful. So I now make mention of Dr Kabra and all of the staff at Surya Childrens Hospital. Hoping that they may read this:

Vince and I are eternally grate full to all of the amazing Doctors, Nurses and others at Surya who have cared for our darling daughters. When we knew the girls were so premature and had been admitted to a different hospital we were so very anxious. The team at Surya soon allayed those fears with their professional care of these very special human beings. You made us feel welcomed and showed amazing compassion to those who are now the most treasured thing in the world to us. We can only thank you from the bottom of our hearts and wish everyone the best.

Once I had settled Taylor's account and we had fed Willow the nurses asked us to wait outside while they got Taylor ready to go home with us. Then the moment arrived and they handed us this little bundle. After this long post I can honestly say that I cannot describe our emotions. So I will simply post a picture:

Mr Singh (our regular driver) got quite shock when we walked up to the taxi holding a baby. We had forgotten to tell him that one of the girls might come home. He drove so carefully on the way home. Neither of us spoke the whole way home. We just starred and smiled. We very so happy that we gave Mr Singh double our normal tip. He has been really great to us.

When we got back to the hotel our new found friends Mike and Youssef and their son Zayne were waiting for us. Youssef kindly filmed our arrival which is a great little memento to have for Taylor.

We sat in the foyer with the Boy's, as we call Mike Youssef and Zayne who are a new family much like ours. Knowing that they understood this moment for us made it even more special and we were so glad that they were here to share it. Then we took Taylor up stairs, praying that the Internet gods were going to let us Skype some very excited people back home. We spent most of the afternoon sharing our daughter with the world. We also got to change and feed her in a relaxed environment. Taylor was a star and our first night could not have been better. There was only the one sad fact. Willow was now on her own. Our hearts were with her as well.

Much to Grandmas' frustration. We actually took Taylor out on her first night out on her first night home. We went out to a cafe called Indigo Cafe to help celebrate Youssef's birthday (which is today, so a big Happy Birthday). The trip to the cafe was like a mini tour of Andheri as our driver struggled to find the place. It is tucked away in a little back street. We were an hour late, but who cared. The cafe was worth the wait and the company was awesome and we had a fantastic night. the cafe serves beef and alcohol so this little carnivore was in heaven.

So that is the story so far. Tomorrow morning I fly to Delhi. Willow will have to make do without us for the day because we cannot take Taylor back into the NICU. The guy's have kindly offered to sit for us but Vince wants to stay at the hotel in case I need him and seeing that the computer is our best line of communication. Taylor is being fed by Papa as I type. So I am going to sign off and go pack my bag. Put all the paper work together (yes more paper work). Then snuggle with Taylor and Papa for a while until her next feed.

I have said many times now that this blog is meant as a record of the journey we have taken to achieve our Family. That it is a record for Willow and Taylor to know where they came from, how much they were wanted and how much they are and will always be loved. So Taylor I hope this story makes you smile one day. I know that my cheeks ache with smile that has now not left my face for the past two days. Willow you will never know how hard it was to leave you. But we know you are doing so well and will be with us soon.

For those contemplating this path I say it again. Don't let anyone put you off. How can this feeling of love be wrong. I only hope that what I have been sharing helps you to achieve this feeling of pure love.

Reunited

2011-01-18T00:25:00.002+08:00

On the way to the Hospital today we got a call from Dr Meenakshi's Lawyer, Pratik. He was contacting us to assist with the citizenship process. It turns out that I should have trusted my instincts. Lost in translation is a real phenomenon. I should have had my DNA test done in Australia before the twins were born. Also if the girls were born to plan and delivered at Hiranadani Hospital they would have had their DNA done there. Because they were born at a smaller hospital and then transferred to the NICU at Surya Children's hospital a panel Dr appointed by the High Commission has to do the test. There was also a problem with our contract and some documents missing. Pratik has shown us what we need to collect and he will finish the paperwork certification tomorrow. Things would be a great deal easier if the Mumbai Embassy could process these applications. Hopefully the Federal Government will recognise the increasing number of Australians using surrogacy in Mumbai and improve the service. Even with the current trend in criminalising commercial surrogacy amongst the states I think people will find a way to come.

Note to anyone going down this path, follow the guidelines on this page Children born through Surrogacy Arrangements applying for Australian Citizenship by Descent. It pretty much list exactly what is required from the Immigration Department.

After this afternoons session with Pratik I feel a whole lot better. We just about have everything we need for the twins citizenship applications. So I can fly to Delhi on Thursday with a complete application pack for each of the girls. The Dr Rele who needs to do the DNA test for the girls in Mumbai also called today and has kindly offered to come to the hospital and do the girls test there so that the process can get moving. A little persistence and patience has paid off. I am good at the persistence, not so much the patience.

We only got to spend a short time with Willow and Taylor today because we had to shoot off and collect documents ready for when Pratik came in the afternoon. When we walked into the unit we were both excited to see that they had put the girls back together. They were reunited at last. Meaning that they are happy that Willow was no longer contagious or a risk to Taylor. They looked so peaceful cuddled up next to each other. They were so settled we did not want to disturb them.

On the way back from the hospital today some really young children were begging amongst the traffic. It is so hard to say no to their requests for money, but everyone advises not to. Mainly because they don't usually get to keep it, as someone is waiting to collect it from them. We had lollies and chocolates in our bags today and it was joyous to see the smile on their faces as we handed them over and watched them devour them with the same obvious joy. Out taxi driver got a little annoyed though because they literally swarmed the car. It was worth it. Tomorrow we are going to by some more chocolates.

The Internet connection at the hotel has been especially bad today and so we have not been able to communicate as much as we have been. Emails have taken about 2 to 3 minutes each to download and upload, if at all. Facebook and Skype have been hit and miss. SMS messages were also a little hit and miss. Pratik also wanted to connect the the little printer we bought at a market and it would not pair with his laptop. He had to keep swapping back and forth between his laptop and mine. So it seems technology was not meant to be today. This post may or may not upload tonight. Normally this would frustrate me (and Vince may say that it has) but at the moment I couldn't care less. Today I seen our two angels back together and I was able to express my concerns and have them validated. Seems that I am a little more Cameron from Modern Family than I care to admit. I have had a lady from Qantas tell me to "calm down love" and today I had a lawyer tell me to "Cool. Cool Jeremy. Sorry Chill. Chill Jeremy". So I have. Vince made me a hot chocolate and now I am going to go to bed and sleep a little easier.

Night all.

PS: Seen as though Taylor has had her passport photo posted, I thought I had best post Willow's. It is on it's side because that is the only way it would upload. There definitely is a Gremlin in the unit tonight.

My Turn

2011-01-15T19:20:00.002+08:00

We decided to have newborn screening done on the girls while they are in hospital. Unfortunately it means that Taylor won't be home with us until Wednesday. She has also lost a little weight, down from 1.89 to 1.7kg. So she needs to gain a little weight again. Willow has dropped from 1.98 to 1.87kg. But after today I am not as worried about her.

Today I got to hold Willow for the first time and then also give her a bottle. I welled up big time and had tears streaming down my face. The nurses all laughed again. These experiences are the best and even more than anyone could have explained. Poor Vince never got to hold Willow because he was feeding Taylor and only just managed to capture the above shot. Willow has a really strong sucking reflex. She just needs to be able to stay awake long enough to feed.

The only problem we had was that Willow still won't open her eyes. This meant that we could not get a photo for her passport. So we will have to try again tomorrow. I hate having to use the flash on them.

Not quite ready for her close up.

For those following this blog that are thinking of following us down this path. I have to say that the Oritel has grown on us. It is actually a great place to stay. It has everything you need relatively close. If not in walking distance, then only 10 minutes away by rickshaw. There are plenty of shops that stock baby stuff like nappies, wipes, soap, clothes etc. You just need to bring your formula with you. They are building up a number of regular taxi drivers who are getting to know the various spots you need to go (and the main shopping malls). They have a hotel car you can hire that is reasonable. If you are as lucky as we have been, you may also meet people that will become great friends :o). The girls will also soon get to meet their first friend. He's quite cute too! and very well behaved.

Just don't let the neighbours put you off.

Piglet. One of our noisy neighbours.

Piglet and his family of 8 or so love to congregate outside our window. They don't seem bothered by the cows that wander past or the occasional herd of goats that are driven past by their shepherds. Even the pack of dogs all seem to get along.

If all went to plan Willow and Taylor would have been 35 weeks today. Instead they are 1 week and four days.

Happy 40th Birthday to my Cousin Corinne.

J & V

I'm ready for my close up....

2011-01-14T21:25:00.001+08:00

Today was a great day. Well mostly. Dr Kabra told us that if nothing changes Taylor can come home to the hotel on Monday. We managed to get a photo of her that we can now use for her citizenship application and passport.

Miss Taylor

The other good news was that Willow's lumbar puncture was all clear. They also took out her oro-gastric tube and gave her her first oral feed. She took it in her stride. Now she just needs to finish her IV antibiotics and show that she can tolerate the feeds. Dr Kabra said maybe another 5 days or so.

Look! No tubes!

It looks like I am going to have to fly to Dehli on Tuesday to have my DNA test done because the High Commission has insisted that it be done there. I am really annoyed that I have to leave Vince and the girls and fly across the country. I was so upset that after giving them a fairly good reason to let me have the test done here with the twins that they still said no (and i know they have done in the past) I wrote to the Immigration Minister to complain. I also sent it to the shadow Minister for good measure. I have heard of letters to the Health Minister for a lot less during my time working in the public health system So I thought bugger it, I'm going to complain. Guess it won't eve be a blip on their radar. Let's just hope all runs smoothly while I'm gone. I know Vince will be fine.

Night,

Miss Willow

2011-01-13T21:21:00.000+08:00

Taylor has been the star for the last few days. Today she was quite content to sleep and did not want to be disturbed. Willow was on her back for the first time this week and we could see her beautiful little face. So it was her day today. She is looking much much better.

Two Steps Forward

2011-01-12T02:13:00.000+08:00

Willow was doing better today and we know now that she has an infection because her blood cultures were positive and it is being treated with IV antibiotics. She is moving and even crying (even though it took the nasty Doctor sticking her with a needle to make her). She also looks a little stronger and her colour is much better. They will continue to feed her by drip for the next 2-3 days just to make sure her stomach is OK. So we have to make do with stroking her gently and whispering to her. The fact that she is holding our fingers again also calmed us considerably.

Taylor is moving ahead leaps and bounds. She is managing to suck from a bottle and even managed a power chuck all over herself and Dad the first time he fed her (twice). Yesterday was the first time we got to hold her and feed her. Needless to say we both melted, cried and generally acted like big sops. She did all the right things and apparently so did Dad and Papa because the nurses were happy for us to try again today. Unfortunately the way things are going we may be bringing Taylor home first with out Willow. But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Now for the funny story of the day. After we returned from visiting the hospital we were both in such great moods that we wanted to go and do some recon work to find a local courier, print shop and photo shop. As we will need all of these to help get the paper work done. I also wanted to check out a shopping mall that had shown up on google maps. So we headed off to Hiranandani Gardens (the suburb I mentioned that is like Subi back home). To get there we took a cool cab. To get home we thought we would be brave and try one of the little rickshaws. We had been putting it off for long enough. Well we managed to flag one down and with the help of a local we managed to explain to the driver where we needed to go. So in we hoped and off we went. I am possibly the worlds worst passenger (I usually drive). Being as tall as I am I could not see where we were going and went as stiff as a board as the little 2 stroke engine revved and took off. The fact that Vince again had that Cheshire cat grin on his face made me even more nervous. Turns out that it was quite a nice ride and for short distances I would be happy to use them again. However, each day it has been costing us about 1000 -1500 rupees ($AU25-35) a day for Cool cab's (a cab company that offers airconditioned little cabs that are bright blue) to and from the hospital. When we got back to the hotel in the rickshaw it was only 17 rupees. So Vince's first comment was "that's cheap, maybe we should take one of those to the hospital". "Not bloody likely" was my response. "I'm not going on the bloody express way in one of those". Cool cab's are airconditioned and you can't touch the car next to you as it goes by!! To top the little excursion off, it turns out that the mall has not been built yet! So it was really a cheap trip for Vince.

Today was also a great day because the girls official birth certificates were delivered to the hotel. So they are now officially Willow and Taylor and have a piece of paper to prove it. Now we have almost all of the documents required to make the application for citizenship for them. Hopefully tomorrow we will get the final letter needed from the Doctors. Then we can courier off the applications to New Delhi.

Night.

One Step Back

2011-01-09T21:04:00.001+08:00

When we got to the NICU today we were both concerned to see that Willow was back on IV fluids. She was also still very flat and sleeping. Taylor just looked up when we touched her as if to say "you again" and then went back to sucking her hand. Up until now we have not asked the Nursing staff any question because they prefer you speak to the Doctor, but we needed to know what was wrong with Willow. So I asked and they quickly got the Doctor for us. Turns out that Willow has passed blood in her stools yesterday and today and so they have sent off samples and are withholding her tube feeds for now. To keep her hydrated and fed she is back on glucose. They have also upped her antibiotics. The Doctor was not really concerned and told us not to worry. Her belly is nice and soft, all of her observations are fine and her reflexes are still good. She is just flat and her colour is not as good. So we are not to concerned either and prefer that they slow things down a little as they have. It was hard leaving them though. Tomorrow we will get their birth certificates and then we can start the long bureaucratic process of getting them citizenship and passports.

Growing Strong

2011-01-08T10:24:00.000+08:00

It is a little frustrating only having a short time with the twins each day, but we know it is paying off them being where they are. They have both gained 10g and have not lost any weight, which is great. Still getting antibiotics and both tolerating their tube feeds. Yesterday Willow just wanted to sleep. Taylor was all mouth looking for something to suck:

Willow Day 4

Taylor Day 4

After seeing Willow and Taylor we met up with our Friend Brian and his Dad who are here at the same time. Together we all went to the InOrbit Mall to do some shopping. We split up and they went looking for gifts and bargains. We headed straight to the Mother Care shop. We bought a baby bath, travel cot, change mat, nappies, wipes and some little cheep prem outfits. It was quite cheap. Now we have the essentials.

The hotel also delivered a twin tub washing machine to our room when we got home. Vince had requested one before we left for the day. He was washing while I was writing. The man who installed it was a little upset with us. It seems that we are taking work away from the hotel staff and they cannot understand why we want to wash our own cloths. For a hundred Rupees ($AU1.50) a day it is much cheaper for us to wash ourselves. Especially with the amount of washing the girls will generate.

The night before last we sat up till 2300 hours in the foyer of the hotel. We sat there chatting with a couple from Canada who are staying here as well. Their little boy was born almost a week ago and they have him here with them now. They are also using the same agency as we are. It was great to be able to compare stories. Like us they are stuck here until the citizenship and passport papers come through for their little one. Their Embassy also takes about a month to process everything. So it will be great having them here. Already we started making plans. Two of us can stay with the babies while we send the others out for supplies and for a bit of R & R.

I ~~have asked~~ sorry, told Mum that I have no qualms about her buying as much frilly, girly stuff as she wants. But I have requested that it not all be pink. As my cousin Caren has commented, we want to make sure the twins have some colour in their lives. We saw some beautifull outfits at the shop today but foccussed on the needed for now. I think Vince is hoping I will be too tired to care about shopping for the wanted after Taylor and Willow are discharged. But them again he was all gooy in the shop as well. These two girls have trully melted their Papa's heart. Their Dad on the other hand just can't seem to stop worrying about them. I think I have said it before but it is really hard sometimes having a little knowledge about what is happening and what could happen. I try to remind me of something I was told many years ago. Nurses mostly get to see the really bad stuff, which is usually only a small percentage of what really happens. When you look at the bigger picture most situations occur with out complication. So it has become my little mantra each day. I do smile. I smile quite alot. In fact I have found myself involuntarily smiling at strangers for no reason, who then look at me as if I am mad. I just can't seem to smile while I am with them.

I just wanted to thank everyone for there kind words and best wishes. It really is helping. being so far away from everyone is a little hard as well. I think that is why we really enjoyed last night. I think I never actually shut up and may have embarressed myself a little (i tend to do that when I am nervous). But it was so amazing to share with a couple who have had a similar journey to us and are at the same stage as we are.

Well I have started to ramble so I will sign off for tonight. Hope all is well in your own life.

Before I go I just want to congratule my friend Gemma and her husband Bill on the birth of their new son. I hope he is giving as much joy as we are feeling now. They trully are a Karmic Gift.

Love J.

Flight of the Stork

2011-01-06T20:02:00.000+08:00

After getting the email and talking to Dr Meenakshi on Tuesday telling us that the twins were coming and we needed to be in India as soon as we could we both just went numb. We looked at each other and both recognised the signs of shock and started treating each other. “Just breathe. It will be Ok. We knew this could happen” pretty much came from both our mouths simultaneously. Then the adrenaline really kicked in and we went into over drive. Have to love the fight or flight response. Before I knew it Vince was flying out of the room to Washy Washy to get our laundry (or at least try because it was not meant to be ready til the next day). I was on Skype to Qantas. Luckily I got a really lovely lady. I blurted out something like “Babies coming, have to be there. They’re in India. We have tickets. Need to fly tonight. Our poor surrogate, she’s bleeding. Sorry, you what. Oh sorry, I’m a bit shocked”. Luckily she got the gist of it from that and before I knew it we were on that nights flight at 23:00 hours. As much as I have bagged Qantas this year, this is the reason I still fly with them. The flight was fantastic because they made sure we had a seat each and that I could use my CPAP and get some sleep. Plus it only took four and a half hours instead of the usual five and a half. We both got a little sleep. While I was on the phone to Qantas, Vince was making a similar speech to the reception girls of the hotel. They too were very helpful. We left the room with an opened litre of Wild Turkey, chips, chocolate and unused Singapore Zoo and Night Safari tickets. We hope someone enjoyed them. We both wanted to see the Zoo. Now we will have to go back with Willow and Taylor. Seems they wanted to see it too. We had meant to go that day but I was crook with a viral cold and had finally given in to it and decided to have a quiet day in the room. Luckily we did!

After speaking to Qantas I rang the hotel in Mumbai. I was sure that they understood and that we would have a room waiting and a driver at the airport. We flew through customs and immigration with ease (we were worried about the 9 tins of formula in our case!!). It just took time because there were four flights that arrived all at the same time. When we got out the front there was no driver. Bugger! Had to find a taxi and fight off all the kind helpers wanting to carry our luggage (for a fee). They are very persistent. Finally got into the taxi and gave the driver the address. A blank face was not reassuring. He had to stop and get directions. Then we were off, confident that we would make it to the hotel in time to get some sleep before going to the hospital. The adrenaline was wearing off a bit. The yawning was a great relief though for my blocked ears from the flight. They cleared much quicker than usual. After what felt like a tour of Mumbai, we finally made it to the hotel. The unpaved mud road covered in crushed road base (rubble 20-40cm in diameter) un-nerved us and the Taxi driver. “The road. The road” he kept saying as we drove up to a locked gate. He tooted his horn with no response. He tooted again and a very old man popped out of the bushes and shouted at him. He must have understood because we drove up “the road, the road” a little further and found the right driveway. When we got to the front door the Clerk on the front desk was very surprised to see us. “No booking? Who are you? You’re not meant to be here yet” was again not what you want to here at what was by now 04:00 hours. Eventually we sorted out what we needed and how much and for how long. We had booked a two bedroom apartment that had a kitchen, Wifi and cot. Well there was no kitchen. Wifi only works in the foyer (all the routers are broken it seems) and why did we need a cot? When I looked out the window I was greeted by the wild pig neighbour with her three piglets, all happily sorting through the enormous rubbish pile. But remembering where we are, we are fortunate and will easily make do. The rooms are quite big by Indian standards and the staff seem helpful and less than ten minutes away is what we would equate to the Subiaco of Mumbai. We managed to get a few hours’ sleep.

It was then off to meet our new daughters, Willow and Taylor. They are in the Surya Children’s Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or NICU (Dr Meenakshi assures us that this is number one in Mumbai). The hotel organised a Cool Cab (bright blue air conditioned cabs) for us and arranged with the driver to take us to the hospital, wait and then bring us back for a fair price. A service we will learn to love I am sure!! The driver we got was excellent and gave us a tour of the area on the way back. For some reason though he managed to show us were the local KFC, Subway, Dominos and Macca’s were.

When we arrived at the Hospital we were waved through by security (unusual because everywhere else we have been they want to scan or frisk us) and sent to the second floor. On the way up we must have looked like a pair of stunned rabbits in headlights because a very officious looking gentleman walked up to me and asked “Mr Moore? Twin girl’s”. “God yes, oh god yes” I blurted. Best impression of a drama queen award for that one!! It turned out that he was Taylor and Willow’s Neonatologist, Dr Nandkishor Kabra. He took us into his office and told us about the girls and how they were doing. It turns out that he trained in Sydney and in Canada. Once he knew we were Nurses he was even more generous with information and we had a general chat about healthcare as is the case in these situations. He could not tell us much about before the twin’s arrived there and that Dr Meenakshi would fill us in on that. He told us that both girls had not required either invasive or non-invasive ventilation. They had only required head box oxygen initially and then weaned off that overnight fairly quickly. They both had some initial transient tachypnoea which settled and needed intravenous glucose. Their birth weights were good for their gestations. I am glad I practiced what I preached to so many patients over the years and wrote things down as the he spoke because most of it went in one ear and out the other. We just wanted to see that girls. I guess he sensed that and took us through. We had to gown and scrub before going in and then disinfect before touching the babies (we were very impressed). When we got into the unit we were even more impressed. All the machines went Bing! There were warmers and humidi cribs everywhere. Then we met the two beings that have and are going to change our lives forever. We both grinned like Cheshire cats and then cried like sooks. We arrred and goooed. I am literally lost for words on how to describe this moment. We could not stay long because the Mothers of the other babies were coming into feed their babies and it is not normal for men to be there. We can only visit once a day for now for a short time. Then next week we will have to stay and “learn” to care for the babies. I am actually looking forward to being on the receiving end of healthcare. Especially the way the staff were doting on all the parents.

After we got back to the hotel we went to the local store and bought provisions. Chocolate and chips until we could go to the markets and get supplies (we did buy some fruit!!). We also bought some disinfectant and cleaning stuff. Vince proceeded to clean the whole unit while I unpacked. By 18:00 hours we were in bed and asleep.

Today Doctor Meenakshi told us that Memuna, our amazing Surrogate had been on strict bed rest and had had increasing pain on Sunday and Monday. So they had decided to cut the stich and unfortunately this caused her to bleed which meant that for her safety they needed to deliver the twins by emergency caesarean. Everything went well and Memuna is now recovering well. We gave Dr Meenakshi the presents we had for Memuna’s children as well today. Our friend Joy had given us wooden puzzles for them and we had bought some Australian themed toys for them. We had to wait in Dr Meenakshi’s office for an hour for her this morning and we were treated like lords by her staff and got to see the daily activities of the surrogates coming and going. We then spent two hours going over everything that had happened and what needed to be done. Both of us are now beginning to relax a little.

From Dr Meenakshi’s office we went to the hospital and spent half an hour with the twins. They are both now off the intravenous glucose and are tolerating milk feeds by oral-gastric tubes. The Doctor said they will try bottled feeding in a couple of days. Both are gaining weight and doing really well. They even spoke of them coming home to the hotel late next week. By the time we got home I needed new contacts (I managed to lose one with the tears of joy that seem to just keep coming) and Vince needed to re-hydrate for the same reason. We managed to get some more information today as well:

Willow Raymonde Moore

Born: 4th January 2011 at 14:08 Mumbai Time and 16:38 WA Time

Weight: 1.92Kg

Head Circumference: 30cm

Length: 46cm

Taylor Louise Moore

Born: 4th January 2011 at 14:10 Mumbai Time and 16:40 WA Time

Weight: 1.82Kg

Head Circumference: 29cm

Length: 46cm

Here are some of the first photo’s of the girls. I will try and post more as things progress.

Willow Raymonde Moore

Taylor Louise Moore

Our Daughters

Taylor

Willow

It's alright. I got ya sister.

Proud Dad

Proud Papa

BFN from the proudest Papa and Dad in the world!!

Twin Girls!!

2011-01-04T17:55:00.000+08:00

Hi All. This has all happened so quickly. An email at 2:50pm saying that an emergency c-section was happening and that we needed to come as soon as we can. At 5pm our twin girls arrive into the world.

We would like to welcome Taylor Louise Moore 1.8kg and Willow Raymonde Moore 1.9kg. We want to thank our amazing surrogate and we are so gratefull that she is ok.

We will share more once we get to Mumbai and know more.

Proud fathers
Jeremy and Vince

33 and 3days

2011-01-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

OMG. We have just spoken to Dr Meenakshi and our poor surrogate is having some complications and the twins are having to be delivered by emergency c-section now. So we have just had to change our flights and are flying out tonight at 11pm. We will arrive in Mumbai at 0430am Perth time. That's all we can say at the moment and are busy packing. Seems they are going to be as impatient as their Dad. BFN. J&V.

2011

2011-01-01T09:01:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year

33 weeks!

Lest We Forget

2010-12-30T21:09:00.002+08:00

We went to Changi Chapel and Museum today. We were quite proud of the fact that we used the bus and train system to get there from the hotel. The system is very efficient and it helps that everyone speaks English.

I had mixed feelings about today's adventure. I knew that much of the original Changi Prison from WWII had been demolished and that there is only now the Changi Chapel and Museum. I really had wanted to see the original, so I was a little dubious about only having a museum to visit. But I have to say, I am really glad that we went. It is a fitting tribute to the history of the place and it managed to stir an emotion or two. At the end of the tour, sitting in the chapel, I actually had a tear or two.

As I mentioned in a previous posting, my Pop, Private William (Barney) Earle Moore was in Singapore during WWII. Unfortunately he was a POW and was interned at Changi when Singapore fell to the Japanese. Pop went to Singapore in Dec 1941 and in Feb 1942 his battalion was imprisoned in the sprawling Changi prisoner of war camp. He was part of the forces which were allocated to work on the Burma-Thailand railway. He would remain in Changi until August 1945 when they were liberated. If you know any Australian history you will know what his life would have been like during this time.

Pop was transferred home a shadow of the man who left for war, literally. On my 21st Birthday I received a ring from Dad. It was a band of 15ct gold with a gold nugget mounted on it. I was told that it had been his Grandfather's and that the nugget was Kalgoorlie gold (apparently pilfered). The ring had been passed down the line to the eldest son of the eldest son on their 21st birthday. The story goes that Pop managed to hide the ring from the Japanese during his entire interment by hiding it in his, well you can guess. Nana told me a story about how it was this ring that Pop's Mum recognised and not Pop when she went to the hospital to see Pop on his return to Australia. She could not recognise her own son he was so emaciated. Needless to say the ring is one of my most treasured possessions.

Pop never spoke of the war or of his time and experience in Changi. He never marched on Anzac day. He did have a few sayings though that dated from that time. One of his favourites was "It's at times like these you need a minty". As much as he hated talking about the war, he shared enough to enable me to do a little research. I know enough to know that he is one of those Aussie heroes who fought for our country and way of life. Enough to know that I will ensure that we do not forget. My Aunty Kay has Pop's service history and photos that he had of the war, including Changi. My Brother Peter has his Medals. Today Vince and I lit a candle in the Chapel for Nan and Pop. We then had a beer in his name. I also toasted Nan who we lost this year.

On the way to Changi we dropped off our washing at the laundry Vince found near the Hotel. He was chuffed that 3kg of washing was only going to cost $S10. Considering one shirt cost $S12 at the hotel, it was a bargain. On the way home we called in to collect the washing. I could not help take a shot of him in the "Washy Washy" laundry. They did a great job and he walked away very pleased with himself. One of the little things I love about him!! He is so practical and gets enjoyment out of the little things in life.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve and we wish everyone the best for 2011. It is our 20th anniversary and we are planning to celebrate it to the best of our abilities.

Journey of the Stork

2010-12-28T19:48:00.002+08:00

We have been in Singapore for 4 days and so far we have been up before seven am every morning and have not stopped til seven at night. We have done the following:

Singapore Flyer
Marina Sands Casino and resort
Merlion
River Cruise x 2
Raffles
Little India
Chinatown
Orchard Road
Botanical Garden and
Clarke Quay

All thanks to Hippo Tours and some serious leg work. We have seen most of the inner city stuff and tomorrow we are having a "fuck it" day as my friend Jo Knight used to call one of those days where you slept in, didn't make any plans and done what took your fancy. This principle can also be applied to "Mental Health" days. Plus Vince wants to find a laundromat. Go figure. I like the little lady who collects our clothes and drops them back beautifully clean, ironed and folded.

The highlight of the trip so far for me was having lunch today at the Raffles Hotel. I had a club sandwich and a Singapore Sling. Vince had a chicken curry and diet coke. Yes it was over priced at $S92, but the experience was priceless. My Pop spent most of the war in Singapore and was in Changi Prison for most of the time he was here. He never spoke of the war much, but he always joked about the Raffles Hotel and Singapore Slings. So it did feel special being there.

I know the highlight for Vince so far has been the Botanical Garden and it came a close second for me. They truly are amazingly beautiful. We spent some three hours there, lost in lush green rain forests, padding perfect meadows of lawn and admiring the enormous orchid collection. There is also a lake jammed pack full of fish and turtles. The park provides vending machines with fish/turtle food that is very cheap to encourage people to feed the fish with the right food. I admit that we felt like little kids watching the water churn as the turtle and Koi battled it out for the multi-coloured pellets we were throwing to them. This is one activity I know we will both love sharing with the kids. Everywhere we go Vince gets excited by the ferns growing all over the trees. His second highlight was finding a Japanese Ramen House. He slurped to his hearts content!

We have both loved strolling up and down the river. On Boxing day we walked to Clarke Quay for coffee (at Star Bucks of course) and it was such a great moment. I guess we would have sat there for a good half hour and never spoke. It wasn't that we had nothing to say or that we were not speaking. It was simply that we are so comfortable in each other presence that we just sat and watched the world go by. It was at that point I knew we had both switched off and were beginning to relax.

Christmas

2010-12-25T21:47:00.004+08:00

I really love Christmas. It is not the religious connection or the commercialism. It is the fact that no matter what happens we spend it together. Either just us or with others we love. When we can we always put up out tree. This year we couldn't so we have adopted this one as ours. It is in the foyer of our hotel. It is huge!! and appropriately decorated! Symmetry and co-ordination. Always important. I guess I'll have to get used to asymmetry and clashing decorations in the future. Maybe I will adopt my cousin Corinne's idea and have a special Kid's tree that they can decorate.

We had a special day. Our trip over was a little disappointing because we did not get the upgrade we requested and then the hotel decided that being two guys meant we needed separate beds and changed our booking to a twin room instead of the King deluxe we booked. Vince, my knight in shinning tinsel soon fixed that with his usual diplomatic complaints. We were soon upgraded to a deluxe King and are now very happy. I have to say they have been excellent and very responsive. We also splashed out and bought the executive package. It gives us breakfast, access to the private lounge, all day refreshments and nibbles, laundry, complimentary drinks (non-alcoholic) from the minibar and unlimited internet.

We had not planned to do much today other than settle in. However when we went down to the foyer (after moving to our new room) we found that the hotel was going all out with a Christmas buffet and they let us in without a booking. So we had an amazing Christmas lunch and were able to really enjoy the festive cheer. The best part was the chocolate. So much chocolate. A chocolate fountain! Did I mention, so much chocolate. We talked and laughed and talked about Christmas ghosts of the future. Especially as there were so many kids and even more so after Santa arrived!! A really great day. Did I mention the chocolate fountain!! My cousin Jenny would have been in heaven and I made sure I ate her share as well.

After lunch we decided that we needed to go for a walk. I think Vince felt that I needed to walk after all the chocolate. Oh and there was fruit, so he was as excited as I was. I dipped my fruit in chocolate :-). We walked for miles (well at least in my head it was miles) and found a shopping centre. The day just got better because as we went in to the escape the monsoonal shower and heat I spotted Starbucks. Caramel frap after all the chocolate was not a good idea, but it was cold. While we were downing the icy goodness we toasted our friends Audrey and Leslie who introduced us to Starbucks and wished their little boy Copper a Merry Christmas. I found a whole floor of gadgets. Best Christmas ever!! Then we had to walk back :-(. We had planned to catch a river taxi back but they stopped early because of the Christmas holiday.

Then we tried Skype to check that it was going to work. It worked, and we were able to talk to Mum and Dad. So if you like to use Skype we are now available. Our Skype account is mooremazoue.

I am on about my fifth Turkey (have to love duty free) and coke and just about ready for bed. So I want to wish all of our family and friends a Merry Christmas and hope that you have enjoyed time with your loved ones, as I have today. I also want to toast my mate and send love to his Family.

So the first day of what we have dubbed the "Journey of the Stork" has been amazing and tomorrow we will be........? guess we will make our mind up in the morning.

Oh and we are 32 weeks.

Love J.

PS: I also love a really good storm. Lightning and thunder! It reminds me of the summer storms we used to get when i was growing up in the Goldfields. Tonight, just to top off the day we are being treated to the best light show and window shaking thunder that I have seen in ages. I guess Huey, Vince name for the big cheese, decided to give a Christmas day we would remember for years to come. Well at least for our DINK years. Who knows when the two, becomes four what Christmas is going to be like. Just another wonder to ponder.

So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight!

2010-12-23T22:03:00.001+08:00

Hair cuts. Bags packed. Tickets and passports. Cash. Check.

Well it is our last night in Australia for six to eight weeks and tomorrow night we will be in Singapore (that's if Qantas does not stuff things up). Two weeks R &R and then onto meet the new additions to our family. All I really want to say tonight is....

I have said it before, but it does need to be said again. We have truly been overwhelmed by the kindness, generosity and support given to us. Family, friends, colleagues and sometimes strangers have given us the most amazing experience over the past eight months or so. We have been given so many gifts and shown so much positive support that it has given us hope that these children will be as loved and supported and they will be accepted as the miracle they are. Again with the soppy and emotive, but it is how we feel. How can we not with what we have experienced. So again thank you to everyone. I also want to thank Vince for all he has been able to achieve over the past months. He has inherited his Fathers work ethic and has worked miracles. I have worked along side him and been motivated by his drive to make our house the home we wanted it to be. He is a little disappointed that it is not quite there. But it is beginning to look how we pictured it. I have had a great time getting to where we are now and am actually looking forward to getting on with it when we get home. That's if Pati and Poppi allow us too! lol.

The only sad thing tonight is thinking about saying goodbye to our other children. They know something is going on because the cases are out and Dad's are running around like headless chooks. We just have to trust that Uncle Shannon will spoil them rotten while we are away. I have stocked up on pigs ears and treats. They have a new bed and have been given plenty of time to adjust to sleeping in the great out doors and to the changes around the house. Miss Margaret has to learn though that baby cloths are not for sleeping on!

I will be posting while away, depending on access.

So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight!

J and V

Packing

2010-12-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

I hate packing. Especially when everything you want to take does not fit in the case. Now that we have two weeks in Singapore before we fly onto Mumbai we could possibly be away for up to eight weeks. Our stuff is not really the problem. I have learnt to pack light over the years and realistically we could travel with one case. For this trip though we are also packing for four. We need to take enough formula for at least 4 weeks, as well as some baby clothes. Then there are the required books (I cannot go eight weeks without something to read) and gadgets. I have pre-purchased an extra 5kg each for the two flights over. On the way back the babies get 10kg each, minus the formula, so we will have room to spare. Shame that. Waste not want not. I will have to find ways of filling us up. Did I mention that Indian cotton is amazing. Once we get to meet Pati and Poppy Dad is going shopping!!!!! Last day of work tomorrow. We are both absolutely knackered and now we are both really looking forward to a nice quiet hotel room before the next scene begins.

Car Seats

2010-12-18T21:56:00.001+08:00

Another jammed packed day. Started with a Christmas breakfast at Miss Maud's with Mum and Dad, Alison Chris and Emmy, Lorissa, James and Thomas. We always have a great time and all left feeling full and bloated. Giving Emmy her presents was a highlight. Poor Lols had to go to work. The boys came home with us for a sleep over and we are taking them home tomorrow. It has been a laugh a minute with them all day. Tonight we had an old friend visit and stay for dinner.

I also managed to detail my car. Well at least the inside. Tomorrow I will do the outside. I know that it is most likely never going to be this clean again, but I really do like keeping it immaculate. I love my car. As I cleaned the windows I could picture them smeared by sticky hands and covered in fingerprints. The leather seats at least should be easy to keep clean (well I am telling myself this in any case). The other good thing is that the pram will fit in the back with the anchor straps in place. I am guessing that the seats will stay in the Pajero most of the time. They are to much trouble to fit to try and swap between the two cars.

We also tried out the new car seats. Thank god we did, because it turned out that we needed an extension piece for the anchor strap. So I had to go back to Baby on a Budget to get them. This was a real shame. So I made the most of it and had a little browse while I was there. Surprisingly I left with only the extensions. Seems I have already most of everything else. Surprisingly as well was the fact that when I walked in the ladies all asked if the twins were going OK and how long now till they arrive. Not that I have been in there much. Both seats are now fitted and ready to go. We chose to buy the Safe-n-Sound Meridian AHR restraints becasue they go from newborn to 18kg and they are easy to adjust as Pati and Poppy grow. I also liked that the colour matched the Pajero's interior.

Today is week 31. We fly out in under a week. Tomorrow our nephew Shannon is coming over to go over what he needs to do while we are away. We really can't thank him enough for taking on the house, two dogs and cat for six to eight weeks.

I think we are finally starting to relax a little and are beginning to enjoy the growing excitement. The house was never really going to be perfect (at least not how we pictured it), but we are very happy with the work we have done.

Night all.

Thanks

2010-12-17T19:22:00.001+08:00

I only have four days left of work now before I go on Parental leave. I have the option of taking up to 3 years off from my substantive position. During that time I can go back and do casual work. I started my current role a month short of three years ago. It was a new role that I was lucky enough to be able to develop and shape it into what it is today. I believe it has been one of the best jobs I have had. I really love clinical work and do miss direct patient care. However it is no longer an option for me full time. So this role has allowed me to use my clinical knowledge while learning a whole new side of Public Service. I have been able to learn about government procurement, government tenders, warehousing and also a great deal about how private industry operates. I have met some amazing people and been involved in some great projects. I have been challenged and rewarded. I know I have grown with the role, becoming more confident and content.

I think it could well have been a very different experience if not for a number of people I have worked closely with. There is one particular person who I have to thank for making it so enjoyable and it is my colleague Jane Fellman (pictures with me). As I have mentioned before, Jane has been a prodigious mentor and even greater friend. I know that the two of us have been able to make a difference over the past three years and have been able to identify a number of achievements that we can be proud of. Along the way we have also been able to have some of the best laughs and occasionally a tear or two.

This photo is of Jane and I presenting at the 2008 WA Health Conference. I was the worst public speaker before Jane, who pushed me (supportively) into accepting these types of opportunities. We went on from there to present at a Symposium in Sydney. Although I am still not comfortable in front of a crowd, I can now speak with out feeling like the world is imploding.

Things change and we move on. I know Vince and my life is about to change. It also means that the future is not certain when it comes to being about to return to my job. I hope to return in some capacity and it would be great if it was the same. I am going to miss everyone: Rob, Wayne, Jacqui, Anne, Trevor, Mel, Chris, Carmel, Carole, Kel, Tracey, Dani, Ali, Lyd and everyone else, while I am away. J.

Packing

2010-12-16T20:57:00.001+08:00

23kg is not enough!! I don't know how we are going to pack everything we need for what could possibly be a 8 week trip. Going over we only have the standard 23kg allowance each. As the babies are not with us there is no allowance for the stuff we need to take for them. On the way back Pati and Poppi get 10kg each. So now begins the process of sorting what can and can't go with us. I have been searching through the blogs I follow trying to see if formula is available that meets international standards, but no one has really said anything. When we were there in May we did a number of scouting trips and looked at was available in regards to baby clothes and supplies. We forgot to look at formula though.

Having made the trip before, we pretty much know what we need to take with us and it is not alot. I need a little more than Vince. If we need to, we can buy off the shelf for Vince. Given my size, off the shelf just does not work. I would need to get stuff tailor made. When we went to Japan, that was another story. They worshiped me in the Sumo shops we went to and I was able to get some traditional outfits.

As we both use CPAP machines these are classed as medical equipment and are not included in our allowance. The problem is that we do not check these in because of the risk of them ending up in some other country. We are also taking our laptop so that we can keep in touch. We have set up a skype account so that we can skype home. This makes for a lot of hand luggage and invariably we get questioned about it.

The most important issue is that given all of the above, my ability to shop is going to be very limited. I will have to use an old trick my Aunty Julie used to use. Buy what you feel you need (and what you want if it is for the right price) and then post it home by sea mail. Just be sure that the postage rates are less than the excess luggage rates.

Well back to it.

Hiranandani Hospital

2010-12-11T22:10:00.001+08:00

Hiranandani Hospital

Went with the spirits. Chivas to be exact. So feeling a little chatty. Thought I might share where Pati and Poppy are going to be born. They are being delivered at Hiranandani Hospital near Powai Lake. The link will take you to the hospital's web page. It is a private hospital with a number of specialties. We have the option of staying at the Hospital but bit is quite expensive. So we are going to stay at our hotel which is only minutes away.

Oritel Serviced Apartments

We have chosen to stay at the Oritel Serviced Apartments. I was going to put a link to their site, but it is not working at present. We have a 2 bedroom, self contained apartment. That way one of us can sleep while the other takes care of the babies. We have been promised a Queen size bed in one room and a single bed and cot in the other. There are a number of large shopping malls near by where we can buy supplies. Hopefully we can do some of our own cooking. There is a pool. Will have to wait and see if it is safe. The gardens look nice. Let's hope the photos match the actual place when we arrive. The few reviews that I have been able to find seem positive.

Big 30

2010-12-11T20:03:00.000+08:00

The big 30. Week 30!! So only 6 weeks to go if all goes to plan. We have been working on the floors all day (except for a couple of excursions to Bunnings and City Farmers). It is 745pm and we have had to knock off because of the noise. To stuffed to cook, so we rang our good friends as the Cosmos Terrace who will now deliver an amazing dinner. We had lots of visitors today. An unexpected surprise was a visit from Tim and Justine our cousins who live in Parapurdoo. They called from Carousel shopping centre to see if we had jumper leads because Justine left the lights on! So Vince went to their rescue while I kept working. They came back here for a toilet break and quick drink. I have to say that Justine looks awesome. She has lost weight and had just had her hair cut. Aunty Kay also dropped in with her partner Keith and Mum and Dad. Poor Aunty Kay. She had on a beautiful bright green top that was made of an unusual material that looked like suckers on an octopus's tentacles. I always seem to put my foot in it with Aunty Kay. Especially today because I said it made her look like one of those toilet paper dolls. You know, the ones Nana's often have in the loo covering the spare roll. They are leaving tomorrow, so it was a little sad. It has been a blessing having her here because she has been a big help to Mum and Dad.

While at Bunnings I decided that I needed a new toy. A nice new planer, just like Uncle Bill's. I think we now have a full set of electric tools. Sorry, no. We still need a router. So far I have not found a reason to buy one. I did use the new planer today though and it was exciting. Tomorrow we should knock the rest of the floor on the head. Then it is a matter of putting everything back where it belongs and cleaning up. The rest will have to wait till we get home. I am stoked though with what we have achieved.

Well I'm off to have a shower before the honey king prawns arrive. While I'm in the shower I will decide if it will be beer, wine or spirits.

Home Coming

2010-12-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

Coming Home Outfits

I went shopping today to find an outfit for the twins for their home coming. We wanted to pick something that we both would like. I found these white outfits and fell in love with them (the photo does not do them justice). So if they fit these are what Pati and Poppi will where home from the hospital and possibly when they arrive in Australia.

It seems that they are going to have a grand welcoming home. We have had a number of people saying that they are going to be at the airport when we arrive and we are stoked that people want to be there. We do not get in to the early hours of the morning, so we would never expect anyone to be there (except Uncle Peter with the Pajero), but if they are it would be wonderful. Tonight we talked about having a home coming party. Inviting our friends and family to come and welcome the twins to Australia and the family. I know we both would love this.

Will it be a home coming King and Queen, a pair of Kings or a pair of Queens. Any which way we win with a Royal Flush.

Holding Pattern

2010-12-09T21:35:00.001+08:00

My colleague and friend, Jane asked me how I was feeling about work at the moment. I said that I felt like I was in a holding pattern and just responding to course corrections as they came through. For the past couple of weeks I have been a little stressed about having my role ready to handover. I have mentioned before that my role is a little unique to health and there are really only two of us that perform the role. This week I have been a lot more relaxed because I can only do what I can do. Today was officially my last day in control as I start handing over from Monday to another colleague and friend, Kelly (Kelly had to go through a selection process to get the position, one which I stood back from because we are friends). Jane, who is the other person who does the same role as me, has become a dear friend and Vince and I have gotten to know her family and really enjoy their company. Kelly I worked with in ICU and completed post grad studies together. I know I can trust Kelly to keep the seat warm while I am away and you never know we could end up job sharing!!

Last night we had one of those course corrections. It had the potential to cause unexpected delays, but it soon corrected itself and we are now back on course. Mum and Dad's close friends who we have grown up with were going to be house sitting for us while we were away. It was a great chance for them to have a holiday in Perth from Kalgoorlie. Unfortunately for reason's beyond their control they are no longer able to come. It is a disappointment because we knew how much it meant to them and also for us. Luckily our nephew Shannon has made himself available (again, what a legend. He was originally going to look after the house but was happy to leave it so that our friends could have a holiday). So after a little concern (Vince would call it hysteria on my part) everything is calm again.

Last night we started packing some of the stuff we want to take for Pati and Poppy. It is hard to know what to take and we have been combing all of the other blogs we have been following to get ideas and suggestions. We have decided on a couple of outfits to suit either boys or girls, a set of bottles, fformula and our slings. The rest we know we can buy in Mumbai. The cotton in India is amazing. Already we know we will have to buy some excess luggage. Between us we also had enough frequent flyers to request an upgrade to business class on our flight to Singapore. Lets hope we get it.

Jarrah Floors

2010-12-04T21:55:00.005+08:00

When we demolished our old house to build the current one we salvaged the jarrah floor boards with the aim of using them in our new home. We pain stakingly pulled them up by hand and have now stored them for over eight years in the shed. We had to use recycled boards from a salvage yard to do the floating floor in the main living area because the ones from the house did not have enough with the tongue and groove intact. So we planned to use ours for the passage ways and main entrance. Laying them was one of the things we needed to do in order to finish the inside of the house. Laying them required doing a direct stick to the cement and also a lot of cutting in around doorways etc and was a little daunting. So we decided we needed to ask for help. Enter Uncle Bill (pictured left with Vince). Bill and Moira are some of Vince's folks oldest friends. Bill is an amazing carpenter who is now retired and works mostly on jobs that he wants to do. We asked Bill for help and he kindly obliged and after two hard days of work we are over half way there and the floors are looking amazing. Big thank you to Uncle Bill and his Daughter Lou (who I have mentioned earlier). Also a big thank you to Moira who dead headed our roses while we worked. Tomorrow we will continue on without Uncle Bill, as he took the time to teach us what we needed to know so that we could keep on going ourslelves. Our DIY skills are growing all the time. Once these are finished then we are going to get them sanded. We are not going to polish them with polyurethane, instead choosing to wax and polish them. It will mean a little extra work but we prefer the look. Plus the kids will just scratch the hell out of them. Today was really fun. It was also great in that we got a visit from both Dad's. My Dad called in and gave us a hand by sorting the broken boards from the salvageable ones. Vince's Dad Rob also so called in to have a quick look at how it was all going.

Bill and Moira are off to Cambodia in January. They are going with Louise and her partner Mike. They are going over to do volunteer work. They all participate in fundraising events through out the year and them go as part of a team. I know that they do some amazing work. If anyone would like to become involved or offer a donation let me know and I will put you in touch with Louise (I am so stuffed that I cannot think of the charity, so I will up date this entry later when I have more information).
I have caught up with Lou and the name of the charity is Blooming Kids and you can contact them at bloomingkids@iinet.net.au

I have so much more in my head that I want to write about but I can hardly keep my eyes open. I am completely knackered. Louise asked me tonight after everyone had left and she had kindly made me a cuppa, whether I had pictured what it was going to be like in a few months time when we are home settled with Pati and Poppy. I said that I could see myself sitting in the same spot feeling just as knackered. And just as content.

Today we are 29 weeks. Night.

PS: Happy Birthday Gramdma for tomorrow.

Caught a Break

2010-11-30T19:30:00.001+08:00

I notified our travel insurance broker about the changes to our travel plans and was expecting to have to pay an added premium. Why not, seems we have paid everyone else lately. To my surprise they came back saying that the changes were accepted and there was not change in the premium!! What is even better is that they cover all medical conditions, as long as you are not traveling against medical advice. For those who are interested I got the policy through the Australian Medical Association WA Insurance brokers. They were most helpful and did everything via email. I have included a link to their site. AMA WA Travel Insurance

On another front, it has been an interesting week. If you remember I mentioned that Mum had been having a rough time. Well it seems that she had a DVT in her right leg and ended up with a pulmonary embolism (clot in the lung). Thank god it stopped there and did not go to her brain (stroke). Going to her lung was bad enough. It was not a large clot and resolved fairly quickly. Between her and Dad I seem to be spending a lot of time in Emergency Departments lately and I hate being a nurse on the other side of the fence.

A nice surprise has been having Dad's sister Auntie Kay visiting from Esperance. Having lost their Mum recently I think it is good for them to spend some more time together. The funny thing is that together they both seem to be getting more like Nan each day (Dad is as grumpy as Pop was though).

Thank God I'm a Country Boy

2010-11-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

I love Charlie Pride, Slim Dusty and Dolly. The smell of rain coming in from the bush is my favourite smell and it wells up so many amazing memories. I prefer a heavily wooded river to the ocean and driving down a dirt track not knowing where it will take me. Sleeping in the open with a blanket of stars. I am still a country boy at heart. I grew up in the West Australian goldfields, living in Kambalda and schooling in Kalgoorlie. We were surrounded by extended family and had the most amazing childhood. At the time Kambalda was a mining town owned by Western Mining and the company looked after the population with all the amenities of a small city. You could play pretty much any sport and we had a well resourced schools and facilities. It was very much a family town. My brothers and I spent countless days camping, shooting, hunting and playing in the bush with our Dad (Mum used this time to iron and watch movies in peace and quiet). We were never really bored and could always find something to do. Especially with numerous cousins and friends around and the freedom to roam far and wide. I really am attached to those memories, especially the time spent in the bush.

What was hard was being different in a way that I could not share. An old story now told by so many others as to be somewhat cliche and I am not going to elaborate because I do not feel that I can add to this. What I will share is that I was actually jealous of my brothers and many friends who got to continue living in the goldfields. I knew that if I was going to become who I was, I had to leave and the city was the most likely place that I was going to find what I needed. So I always new that I would go to Uni as a means of escaping. I have also never shared that I would have loved to have taken on a trade, in particular carpentry, but I was not strong enough to stay and hide. I could never work underground though. I do suffer from claustrophobia and the few times that I did venture underground cured me of any thoughts of a underground career. Don't get me wrong, I did want to go to Uni and could not wait for the life that it afforded me. I just felt wronged that I could not have that life at home and I have never regretted the path I trod. But deep down the country boy still rears his head regularly. Vince has asked me on numerous occasions if I would like to move to the country and I often think about it. I know that I would really be happy in the country. I love what the city has to offer and really enjoy the creature comforts so close at hand. If I am honest though I have to admit that the reason I say no is that there is still that scared boy inside me afraid of rejection, bullying and the unknown. The city is still safe. At least in my mind. Things are changing and I know there are towns out there that pride themselves on tolerance and diversity. The fear I hold may be unfounded but I grew up amongst blokes and I know that their fears are just as real as mine and some of them still fear what they don't understand. The indirect homophobia also leaves deep scars.

Vince and I attended our friend Gemma's baby shower today and had a really enjoyable afternoon. There was a lot of old colleagues from ICU there and it was great to catch up. Again everyone was so supportive and positive about our new family as well. We were asked a couple of times why we were not having a baby shower. We said that we are going to have a get together when we got home with Patti and Poppy. Truth is we have not had time to organise one and not sure if it is kosher to organise your own. We both agree that we would rather have the family and friends get together when the babies are here. Gemma and her husband Bill are also country folk and we have been camping with them in the past. I think today's event triggered the theme of this entry tonight. Especially because I really hope we get to have many more camping trips in the future. The best thing is that these guys are not glampers. They like to camp in the true meaning of camping. Gemma is due around the same time as us so the kids will be the same age. Gemma and I are also planning regular coffee meetings and play dates!!! A highlight of the day was talking to my friend Amy about breast feeding. Her little 6 month old boy will not drink from a bottle and so she has all of this frozen expressed milk. Amy offered it to us and I was very overwhelmed and touched because I knew she was serious. So we will have to see what we can organise.

Well today we reached 28 weeks. From all the Dr Google reading this means that we are now in the home stretch and everyday from now means a much greater chance of a successful pregnancy.

Happy camping.

Vince the Builder

2010-11-26T06:42:00.000+08:00

Last night we went to Mum and Dad's for dinner. We wanted to catch up on how they were both doing. I also wanted to install a webcam on their computer so that we can Skype them while in India. If you have been following this blog you would know that earlier in the year they bought a pram for us, but we were not allowed to have it in the house until Patti and Poppy are born. So last night while i put the webcam together Vince got to put the pram together to make sure that it was all there and in working order (still not allowed to bring it home). Apparently Uncle Peter will have to deliver it to our house while we are away. I know Vince had great fun putting it together and there where no parts left over!! We chose the Strider Plus (pictured) because both seats are able to accommodate a newborn. Plus it fits through standard doorways.

During the week we received an email saying that the package we sent arrived and was well received. The email also had a little shock in it for us as well. Originally we had booked to fly out in the second week of January. However when we received the letter from our obstetrician that I needed for work to get parental leave we were told that we needed to be available from Christmas day. So we changed our flights and booked our leave accordingly. Then in the email received this week Dr Meenakshi says "Christmas a little early, come January 15th". You could imagine how pissed off we were. Especially with the amount of money we have already paid to Qantas this year!!!. So I said to Vince that we have not actually had a holiday for over 18 months and that it would be cheaper to just change our flight to stop over in Singapore. We already have all the leave booked and it would be a pain to change. We already have to pay for accommodation. So we have changed our flights again and booked two weeks at a Singapore hotel and fly into Mumbai on the 9th January. This also means that we are half way there in case something does happen and we can have a good break before the little ones arrive and the endless nights of broken sleep etc that we have been warned of begin.

There is a silver lining to this as well. Originally when we were told to be in Mumbai from Christmas day we were greatly concerned that they would look at delivering the twins before week 36. We know this is not an ideal situation and I am sure I have spoken about this previously. Now it seems that we are aiming for week 36 and this gives us a little more faith in our medical team. I know a few of our colleagues (and friends) were a little concerned about this too. We had to give up our USA tour because of problems with leave, but now we get two weeks in a 5 Star hotel in a city that is all about food and shopping. Yes Vince is cringing.

Family

2010-11-21T18:35:00.002+08:00

I never got to post last night so am a little late because last night was a little unexpected. After working on the house for most of the day we both started to finish off at about 6.30pm. I put tea on and Vince was watering the gardens. I poured myself a shandy and collapsed on the couch to watch the news. Vince's mobile rang and it was Rae asking where we were. I said I was on the couch watching telly. Rae said that Uncle Jack was there and they were waiting for us and hadn't Vince told me we were going for tea. Of course I was a little embarrassed and quickly handed the phone of to Vince.

Vince was greeted by Uncle Jack saying "get your bloody arse here". So we spruced our selves up and flew up the freeway. Arriving to find a nice surprise with Auntie Laurie, Colin and Elyse there as well. So we had Mum's famous curry chicken, Uncle Jacks chili, Auntie Laurie's "Mouldy fish coconut chutney", as Jack called it and a king brown of Rob's home brewed stout. We ended up having a really great night. This is one of my favourite things about the in laws. They have the best dinners around the table with great food, wine, jokes and conversation.

It is always relaxed and welcoming and the family is so big that there is usually always someone different around the table. Rae always cooks up a storm and someone else always brings something interesting and yummy to eat. the highlight of the evening is usually when everyone has had a couple of vino's and the Olds inevitably break into French. I could sit there for hours listening (have never managed to pick any up though). We have both talked about maybe starting to learn so that the kids can be bilingual. Will have to look into it further.

Coming home from dinner we were both so overjoyed because Vince's family are also so supportive and accepting of our decision to create our own family. For a little time there he was a little concerned (as was I with mine) how some would react, but so far it has been love and acceptance all the way.

We are now 27 weeks and 5 weeks away from leaving for India.

Two heads....

2010-11-18T21:45:00.001+08:00

Latest scan just came through. As it is a routine scan it really is all about the anatomy and not ascetics. So the pictures aren't that thrilling. They are fantastic in that they show everything as where it should be and growing well. It also showed that our surrogates cervix is closed and stable. I really hope she likes the care package I put together for her. The new scan capped off a great week for us. We just wish it was the same for Lorissa who is having a crappy time. Also for Mum who is having problems with her Knees after the treatment she just had done on them. Just a quick entry to night to share the latest.

Smiles All Round

2010-11-16T20:57:00.004+08:00

Today it was smiles all round. After a couple of weeks of stress and anxiety. Visa's. Stitches. Banks. Chainsaws. Confrontation. Today we are all smiles. The bank finally fixed it's mistake. All it took was for them to listen. Dad is home and on the mend. Mum's another story, but snaps for trying. Our surrogate is doing well and her care package is somewhere over the Indian Ocean hopefully. Finally our Visa's came through today and our passports are back in our excited little hands. Yes Vince has done the happy dance. Let's hope that this can continue now until the little ones arrive. Thanks to everyone for their positive wishes and support. We really do believe that it helps. I am so happy that I am sitting here with Glee pumping from the computer. Particularly the track I could have danced all night. One of my all time favourite movies, My Fair Lady. Our favourite song at the moment is Kurt's rendition of I want to hold your hand. We hope that our kids will want to hold our hands their entire life and that we can have them there to hold.

It is also now clear that NSW has decided to allow Gay men to access the new surrogacy laws, which means they will not have to go overseas to fulfil their dreams. It gives them access to a regulated and supported process. It also means that all of those involved will be there because they want to and maybe not because they need to be. I was going to be so disappointed if this was not the case because I really think NSW leads the way on many issues and this would have been a step backwards.

I have also been surprised by the amount of media gay marriage is getting this week and am in two minds about it. I think it is great that there is open debate and that the current structure of our parliament is making our politicians operate a little differently. Making them think on their feet and work a little harder. My concern is that Australia is not as ready as the media is making it out to be and that there may be some backlash. There is still a large number of people out there who have deep seeded issues with the amount of change that is already occurred. Most people are becoming conditioned to responding positively and politically correct in front of the media and in public. Behind the scenes though it is often a different story. WA is a classic for this. Take all of the recent referendums. If you were to believe the media we would have shops open around the clock and be only two hours behind the Eastern States.

This is a print done by my cousin Caren. It comes from a book called Come & See! that Caren gave Vince and I number of years ago. We have treasured it and it was kept as part of our little dream bundle of items that we had collected over the years just in case the miracle ever happened and we were blessed with kids. This is my favourite image. Vince and I are both pisceans and I think it plays to our natures. The book will now have pride and place on the book shelf.

Can't wait to hold your hands.........

Grumpy Old Men

2010-11-13T22:23:00.002+08:00

Mum asked us to take her shopping today. The objective was to update from a video recorder to a HDD recorder. So off to Harvey Norman's we went. As a treat we called into Babyland after. Vince always carries his phone and if I leave mine in the car he also grabs that. I'm not sure if it is a fear of missing a call or them being stolen. Well Murphy's law prevailed and just as we were getting in the car Mums phone vibrated (she had knocked it on silent). It was Peter, my brother who sounded very stressed, a little frantic and somewhat upset. I was noticing a number of missed calls on my phone at the same time Mum was handing her phone to me, Peter having demanded to speak to me. So I knew immediately that he and Dad were either concerned about where Mum was and why the could not get hold of us or something was wrong.

Without fail Dad usually comes for Saturday early morning coffee on his home swing. This morning he had been telling us his plans about pruning the garden and a number of trees ready for a green waste collection on Monday. He was humming and harring about buying a new cheap chainsaw. When he left he had pretty much convinced us that he was going got stick with the hand saw option. Well it turned out that he could not go straight home without calling into Bunnings and given that the chainsaws were so cheap he had to have one.

Now back to poor Peter. It seems that he always cops the first aid situations, vomiting, grave illness and I won't go on. I am the Nurse and always seem to manage to avoid these. The reason for the frantic calls was Dad using his new beaut chainsaw and almost taking off two fingers on his left hand, wrapping them in a piece of dirty rag and wandering out to Peter who was cutting the lawns (he is the better son according to Dad, because he was there cutting the lawns. As I said I am the Nurse and I need to maintain my soft hands). There was blood. Dripping blood. So of course Peter tells him to put pressure on it and to use a clean cloth (being a good teacher who maintains his senior first aid). So Dad wraps them in a hanky and straps them with electrical tape. While Peter tries to get hold of me to get advice. Not being able to see the injury I of course sent them off to the emergency department and said I would meet them there. At triage when I seen the wounds they did not look to bad but agreed that they needed to be seen and Dad should have a tetanus shot. Turns out that he had severed a tendon and chipped the bone and would need plastic surgery. So poor Dad who hates hospitals, has a genuine phobia of needles and didn't have time to lay about because otherwise he would have to pay to take the green waste to the tip was admitted and put on the waiting list for theatre. He thought this would all happen quickly and he would be home by tomorrow. Having worked at Royal Perth for near on 13 years I knew that he could well still be there when I got to work on Monday and most probably still fasting. Of course I didn't share this and left him propped up in bed watching the TV, which he was extremely pleased that he did not have to pay for being a private patient (after all it is always Mum who claims on the health insurance he kindly pointed out, bout time he got some back). Having spent 5 hours being interrogated by nurses and doctors, being poked and prodded and told he could not eat or drink he was somewhat his normal grumpy self. Myself having spent 5 hours at work, shopping with Mum and having morning tea with friends, did not get any painting done today. But I would not have missed it for the world. Now it is going to be fun watching who cares for who. Oh and Peter is officially listed as Mum's carer, so he is the first contact. Dad was just glad it was not his right hand so he could still wipe his @%#&. All class.

Today we reached our 26th week. I have had great pleasure in putting together a care package for our surrogate and a thank you gift for Dr Meenakshi. I can post them on Monday.

Glad we don't live in NSW

2010-11-11T21:31:00.002+08:00

NSW parliament is in the process of passing legislation to legalise altruistic surrogacy and an amendment has been added to criminalise commercial surrogacy both in NSW and for overseas arrangements. It is not clear at the moment whether the new legislation will be open to gay men. WA has altruistic surrogacy laws which are not open to gay men which is why we had to go overseas. The WA legislation in it's present form does not cover overseas arrangements as far as I am aware. In Queensland, gay couples have been granted the right to have children through altruistic surrogacy, but not adoption. In WA gay couples can adopt.

I think it is great that they have produced legislation that gives surrogacy legal standing. I think it is another blow to our equal rights though if, like WA, they close the door to gay couples and also then criminalise their only other option to become parents. Talk about driving away the pink dollar. I know we considered moving to NSW to chase our dream of becoming parents because prior to this step it was a little easier to access IVF etc in NSW. So I would hate to think how many gay couples may now think about relocating. Lets hope our State Government does not now think about changing our legislation to effectively ban gay from having children. I am so glad we have done this now and not waited.

Apparently this amendment is to protect the children and was added by the NSW Community Service Minister. I know we have spent numerous hours soul searching the morality and ethics of what we are doing and making sure that we have created an environment that will nourish and support our kids. We have done hours of research, sought the best deal for our surrogate and chose India because our money will make a difference. As opposed to paying Doctors and Lawyers in the USA, who are the ones capitalising on this process. How is that not good for a child. We don't take drugs, quit smoking and only drink as per the medically recommended limits. We both work hard and therefore contribute to our society. We donate to charity where possible and always try to be there for others when needed. We try not to judge others and are as tolerant as we can be. We don't go to "man's" church, but we believe in God. Maybe we should quit our jobs, move to Balga, take up smoking, drop a few E's and start playing the scene, start shoplifting, pinch a couple of cars and go to mass to seek forgiveness for our sins. Maybe then the government will throw money at us, put us on a good behaviour bond and throw in a couple of kids for free.

Sorry ranting again.

J.

Processing

2010-11-10T06:32:00.003+08:00

Our tourist visas expired on Wednesday and by Friday applications for new ones were flying registered post across Australia to Canberra for processing. I hate having to send my passport anywhere that I am not attached to it. Now we just have to wait and see how long it takes to process and pray that it is before the 25th of December. I sent a cover letter explaining our situation and why we have applied within one month of a previous visa hoping that it may expedite things a little.

Dr Meenakshi has advised us that our next scan will be around the 18th of November and so far everything is going OK after the Cerclage. Our friend Steve also had news that everything is going OK with his twins (which he is convinced are boys) . So it seems that the positives influences of the world are back on top. The only problem at the moment and it really is minor, but a huge pita (pain in the arse) is the Westpac bank. We thought we would make sure that we had access to some funds in case things did go pear shaped and played around with our finances a little. It seems that we were either not very clear in what we asked for or they did not listen at all. Now they have to reverse a number of stuff ups they made. I just hope they do not try and penalise us other wise Angry Ant (as my Dad calls Vince when his back is up) will be onto them.

I have had a number of people saying that they are not sure how to post comments on this site. I am still learning things about Blogger and usually use the help page or google. I have added a link to the relevant help page. Please persevere as we really do love the comments people leave. It is all part of the history that we are trying to build for Pati and Poppy.

Have a great day.

Got so far to go....

2010-11-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

The Cerclage went without a hitch and it seems that our surrogate, Pati and Poppy are all fine (Schmoe this is your fault, the nicknames that is). So now begins the anxious wait til we fly out on Christmas day in 7 weeks time. Given the events of the past few days it seems that this seven weeks are going to be some of the longest weeks in our lives.

Some anxiety also has arisen from the fact that Qantas planes seem to be having some difficulty with leaving Singapore and of course we are flying with Qantas via Singapore to Mumbai and return. Lets hope that they manage to keep them in the sky. I have always preferred to fly Qantas believing that the premium price guaranteed a certain level of premium service and product. I am re-thinking this given that I have not seen any media regarding exploding engine on Air Asia flights. Lets hope corporate greed does not destroy another Aussie icon.

25 weeks today and we got to celebrate a little tonight with a surprise visit from some old friends and Mum and Dad. Seeing their excitement for us really lifted our spirits.

Yesterday and today we also spent with Lorissa and the two boys and it was great quality time. Lorissa got to bring Patrick home and it felt good knowing he was around. We also got to see his family. I also got to play with computers for most of the day, so it was even more special.

This afternoon we also had a visit from Grandmere who arrived with three large bags full of goodies for Pati and Poppy. Clothes, toys and many other fun things that we had great delight in opening and playing with. A highlight was a little praying bunny that when you push one foot it says the "Now I lay thee down to sleep..." prayer in English and when you push the other foot in French and quickly became my current favourite. I still believe that we may have to change the locks when the babies arrive to keep Gran and Grandmere out. Not that we ever would. Going to bed tonight with a warm fuzzy. The past is the past and we have come so far..........

Night all. Can you tell that I watched Hairspray recently?? What do you think of Maybelle as a name?? :-)

Cerclage?

2010-11-04T18:48:00.004+08:00

Only medicine could come up with such a name. Freaking out just a little! We got news today that our poor surrogate (still hate using this term) has had to be hospitalised because the Doctor is concerned that her cervix is not coping with the twins. They have decided to do a Cerclage or cervical stitch to try and help things along. Dr Meenakshi says everything is fine and not to worry. And we are trying not to, but there is that whole ocean between us thing again and the fact that there is this other amazing human being going through this for us and we are not there to comfort and support her and her family. We have decided that based on our understanding of the clinical facts and stats (Dr Google and Pubmed to the rescue again) that we should continue with that positive warm glow in our hearts, sending our love and positive vibes into the ether and hope that Karma some how enhances it. Based on these new and what can only be described as paternal emotions we will quietly shed a tear of nervousness and allow those with life experience to comfort us with their love, support, advice and wisdom. I think this little icon says it all (couldn't find a non-copyright picture of stunned rabbit in headlight).

Our friend Jo who works with Vince has nicknamed the little ones chapati and poppadom, or Pati and Poppy for short and it has stuck. So I am giving Pati and Poppy my first parental order "the Doctor has closed the gate, so bloody well stay in side".

Fatty Arbuckle

2010-11-02T19:09:00.001+08:00

One of my Nana's used to tell me about a famous black and white movie star called Fatty Arbuckle. I always felt that there was a moral to the stories. I am overweight, morbidly obese even. What Marjorie Dawes would call a "Fatty Fat Fatty". I have battled with weight all of my life at one point or another. I can say that I have been my heaviest since I stopped smoking. When I quit smoking I said to myself everyday that I did not care if I put on weight because smoking would kill me first. Well how wrong was I. I promised myself to quit smoking before I was 30 so I could make it to 40 and also because at the time we were looking at co-parenting with close friends as a possibility (again the urge to procreate provided a very strong incentive). Now I am scared that my weight may well trump the smoking.

I have never much spoken about my weight other than when it comes up in polite conversation (if you can call it polite or not is another posting, some people think they have a right to tell you why you are so overweight and what you need to fix it without batting an eyelid, or comment "you've lost weight haven't you" when you have obviously gained a few....must stop venting). I do talk to others I know who share a common girth. The biggest problem I have is that I know what my weight means for my health. I am a health professional. I know how to fix it. I have also heard and know all of the self help jargon. I get frustrated when I hear others discuss their weight and usually because I echo their stories in my mind with the self saying "oh I know, it's such a burden" and "they just don't understand". I also have the Nurse saying "get off your fat arse and walk" or "enough excuses and get on with it". There is also that third voice. The dark cloud as everyone mentions. Yes weight is directly linked to depression. How can you not be depressed when others body language is constantly telling you you are wrong. Just wrong. So wrong.

The sad part is that I have noticed that I am not so much alone anymore. It seems the world is bursting out all over. Where there was once the one or two fatties in a class there are now five or six, if stats are to be believed. At work I am always hearing how the bariatric patient is no longer a rarity and that they are going to break the health budget (along with Alzheimer's and aged) and a few beds and chairs along the way (humour, the proverbial defense mechanism). I do dread flying and as much as I see the horror on my fellow aviators as I walk down the isle, I feel the horror and sorrow of making another person less christian as those horrible judgments fly through their minds.

Well what am I trying to say? I guess that I am not looking for advice, sympathy or even encouragement. I know that none of the fads are my friends. I know that I and I alone can change this and that I need to do it for me and for me alone. I do have a powerful weapon in Vince. He is with me all the way and I know that, but he can't do it either. I tried the drugs. I draw the line at surgery because I have seen so many stuff ups made by God (sorry Grossly Overpaid Doctors) and know the true failure rates (they are proving to be as ineffective as all the other treatments). It is up to me.

I have had a number of people comment that they are concerned about how I will cope with the two little ones when they arrive because of my weight. One thing I am proud of is that I have managed to keep a certain amount of fitness despite my weight. I can thank my brother Peter for this because he is an inspiration having gone through this himself. I could not run up a set of stairs, but I can run a 100 metres if needed. I can still ride a bike (it just needs to be strong enough, there's that bariatric equipment issue again - how are you meant to exercise when the only equipment you can use is 10 times the price, someone out there has seen a market and cornered it). I huff and puff and I keep on going.

So after all of that I would like to congratulate myself. Since we decided to follow our dream and started on down the road in May this year I have lost a grand total of 13kg. Yah for me! I am doing this for me. I am not doing it for the children. I am doing this so that I can be with my children for as long as possible. I am doing it for me so that I do not feel like a hypocrite when I tell them it is not healthy for them. I am doing it so that I do not feel the guilt of being a poor role model. We kid ourselves if we say we are doing for the children. I am also not giving any guarantees. I know my goals and I am aiming directly for them. What I will do is every now and then share my success. When quiting smoking they tell you to accept and acknowledge the praise for success. I believe it helped. I am not seeking praise mind you. The praise comes from myself and for myself. So I say again, Yah for me, myself and the Nurse.

It's a voice that comes from deep within

2010-10-31T22:53:00.002+08:00

I have been working with a friend of ours who is at the end of a Psych Masters. They have been working on an assignment to come up with an idea for a group therapy model. I mentioned to them early on in our journey that I found it frustrating that there was so little out there for fathers, let alone gay men planning to become fathers. If it was not for the Internet I don't think many men would be able access information on pregnancy or parenting. So we worked together on a group programme that provided practical information and then allowed for a group session to discuss issues identifies by the group. It has been a very interesting process. Men are very disenfranchised when it comes to this whole process. We are a little luckier than most because of our profession. But I know we both have many doubts and are just as nervous as most new fathers. Add to that the inherent fears of social pragmatism and heterosexism and at time is can be a little overwhelming. I said that when we first started telling people it was almost like coming out again. In some ways it was exactly that. "Oh, when is your wife due?" was a common question from numerous colleagues at work who did not know me other than to work with. So it came down to the fact that Vince and I had made a firm commitment to telling the truth and having to fill in the blanks. That brought back many old feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, anger, shame and so on. How would they react. Was this going to be the time that someone would attack me and who I am. I know where I've been and these are real and deep seated feelings that have taken years to conquer. Going through this process with our friend has almost been a therapeutic process in it's self. I have had to look at many issues I have carried around for years. I have been lucky and my experience has been mostly positive. I get more grief about my weight than I ever have about being gay.

This week I had a little melt down and began to question where I was and why I was here. Would I be a good Dad? Was I being selfish? Could I protect my family? I had to remind myself that in the words of Miss Maybelle "I know where I'm going" and "It's a voice that comes from deep within" that tells you that you have the strength and conviction to be a great dad. You have had to work harder to get here and it is going to be amazing. We are going to love our children and teach them our values and and beliefs. We will do unto others as we would have done unto us.

I want to thank our friend Lou for the free therapy and for the amazing insight. I am hoping that I can share her work when it is all finished. Who knows. It could become a whole new vocation. Primary Health Care!!!!

We are now 24 weeks. Goodnight world. Sleep tight and dream. I did, and it's coming true!!

Love to all, J.

23 and counting.....

2010-10-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

We are now 23 weeks. Our 22 week scan, which arrived on Thursday, showed that all is well. Except that one twin is growing at a greater rate and is now quite the boofer compared to their sibling. Along with images this time we actually got a copy of the USG report which enabled us to spend some quality time with Dr Google doing some relevant research.

Over the last 3 months we have pretty much been working our little buts (well little in Vince's case anyway) off trying to get as many projects completed as possible. It seemed that this weekend we finally ran out of steam and had to take a little mental health break.

I sent Vince out into the garden to play with his roses. This is his idea of relaxation. I on the other hand did some filing. It plays to my OCD!! I also caught up on The Good Wife. Tomorrow we are hoping that the engines rev up again and we can get back to it.

On Friday I actually engaged with Centre Link and the Family Assistance Office to begin the process of claiming the Paid Parental leave amongst other things. It felt very weird answering so many questions. I now have a Customer Access Number and am officially on Big Brothers books. I have to admit that I was a little chuffed when the online service asked if I had a partner and then kept asking questions like "and does Vincent have a job?". Bravo BB for recognising my one and only and our little family. Now we just have to get BB to give "Vincent" the sames rights as any other parent.

All the Twos, 22

2010-10-17T22:09:00.001+08:00

We are now 22 weeks along. The Nursery is coming along nicely. We have tried to keep it neutral where possible. I wanted to make my own curtains and this is the only material I could find that had animals on it that were not characters. It was a decision we made very early on that we only wanted to use animals and not commercial characters for decoration. We both love Pooh and Tiger, Disney and Sesame Street, but they are all so much more expensive and often not the greatest quality for what you pay. We have also been very open to pass ons and hand me downs. Where

possible we have re-used items. What we have now is as fun, safe and functional as we can make it.

The house is also coming along nicely. With only 10 weeks to go before we fly out it is unlikely we will get everything done. It is nice to know though that the majority of projects we had left are nearly completed.

As a side note, it has been very exciting to watch some of the media coverage of India during the commonwealth games. It can be a fun place though if you are in a hurry. Not! We were lucky not to get Delhi Belly during the last trip. Mostly because we took our great friend Cipro (or Ciprofloxacin).

We just want to say thank you to all our friends and family, work colleagues and sometimes strangers who have been so overwhelmingly positive and supportive. This could easily have been a very difficult journey and there is a long road ahead of us. However if our new family receives the support and love that we are currently getting, then we will be able to grow, prosper and cope with anything. A wise person told us that a child only knows they are different when an adult tells them so. Our family will be different, but it will be one born of love and respect. It will be nourished by those around us who love and care for us. So again we say thank you for your love, support and acceptance.

Generations of Love

2010-10-12T22:17:00.003+08:00

Today we said goodbye to the last of a generation of our family. Del Moore, or Nan, was buried today with Barny Moore, our Pop. I was not able to make it to Esperance for the the funeral for a number of reasons and my heart has ached all day. I instead went and spent the time with my Mum who is currently in hospital. I took her in a wheelchair down to the hospital chapel and we sat there while the funeral was happening with Mum going through family history.

Nan was amazing. Always on time and always prepared. We used to laugh because on the many return journeys to Esperance from Perth she would take the house key out of her bag as they passed through Ravensthorpe (almost 2 hours from Esperance for those who do not know WA). She would always have the cups for hers and Pops morning tea set out the night before, with their medications ready next to them as well. Most meals were prepared well in advance, sitting ready to be put together fresh when the time was right (a habit that Dad picked up when he peels, cuts and soaks his veggies for the evening meal at 11am). There was always a slice made ready and sitting in the cake tin on the fridge for us hungry grand kids or for the unexpected visitor. I got my love of cooking from Nan. She taught me many of her own recipes. One in particular I will have the joy of passing on. It is a traditional handmade Ravioli. Some of my favourite memories are of spending the day in the kitchen with her and various other family members making this amazing dish. The only problem is that it has enough butter to clog every artery in the body and enough garlic to ward off every flu virus with in a mile. Her apple fritter are legendary to us grand kids, especially when we remember when she used to make them on the wood stove in the griddle.

All four of my Grandparents are now deceased and so moves up the next generation. I have been blessed with knowing my Grandparents and having them heavily involved in my life. Each and everyone of them shaped me in some way. We were lucky that both the two Nans got on well and were friends. Although there was always a little competition. Both were very proud women who set high standards for themselves and their families. Pop and Grandad also got on. I now hope that our children get to have the same relationship with their Grandparents. Goodbye Nan xxx.

Traditions

2010-10-08T23:46:00.003+08:00

It seems that the circle of life moves along without any hindrance. He giveth and he taketh. I had this photo and caption siting in the draft pile thinking about what I wanted write about my Nan. I had been thinking about telling some of the stories from our child hood and also sharing some of the lessons learnt from her over the years. Vince and I had already planned to go straight on to Esperance when we got home to Australia with the kids. Down to see Great Nana Moore. Seems that I now know what I need to say as we lost our Nan tonight. I know that she was ready. Her mind was still as sharp as the proverbial tack. Unfortunately her body was the let down and I think it frustrated her no end. 'Ï don't want to be a burden" was a phrase often repeated over recent years. I am not able to write much more tonight because my mind is swirling with emotion. I just want to say that my heart is aching for my Dad and his Sister Kaye. Mum. For Kylie, Bret, Jack and Lilly. Ricky. Peter. (I received a request to edit this post and to remove names from the entry and have happily complied with that request).

I am also feeling tremendous sorrow for Lorissa. It was her's and Patrick's 16th wedding anniversary today. She has had to cope with Fathers Day, her Birthday and now their anniversary all within months of his passing. I cannot know how she feels, but I know the pain I feel for her and the two boys. God please wrap your arms around those that we love. Hug them close and ease their pain.

20 Weeks

2010-10-02T17:50:00.001+08:00

We are 20 weeks today and we have now received images from the 20 week scan. This is the scan where they do a number of routine measurements to make sure that all is developing as it should. They look at things like organ development, size and placement. We were happy to know that there seems to be stomachs, kidneys and brains etc all where they are meant to be. A little surprise was the 4D image thrown in for us. It is amazing and we can't wait to see more of these later on. When we first seen it we were a little shocked a what appears to be the lips. One of our kids was going to give Mick Jagger a run for his money. Vince still reckons that they are not lips but little hands. Vince is happy with not knowing what the sexes are. Me, I would love to know if we could. It is not really anything to do with impatience, more to do with planing. It seems that any knowledge you have helps with things like putting your name on lists for day cares and schools etc and also with completing forms for various agencies. Because everything is happening overseas and given the fact that we will not be home for at least four weeks after the birth really does affect all of these things. Even more so because when we get home the first thing we have to do is sought guardianship for Vince.

For now though, I am just happy to spend time staring at these images which seem to allow time to drift on by as I become lost in dreams.

Today I went shopping with Uncle Pete. He bought us two high chairs and a bath. I had the best time walking around Ikea with my baby brother. I am really looking forward to sharing this journey with him. He is such a large part of our life. We both hope that the kids pick up a little of his wit and attitude.

I would like to advocate the use of the Ikea Antilop high chair. $25 bucks each and they are so easy to assemble, Can be transported easily. Taken out side and hosed. There is no padding for food to get lost in. Practical and simple.

Hiccups

2010-09-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

Nothing like a little bureaucracy to throw a spanner in the works. So far we have had a dream run really. To enter India you require a visa issued by your local Indian Embassy. A tourist visa is for 6 months. When the visa expires you cannot apply for another for 1 month. If you apply for one within 2 months of the current one expiring then it can take up to 45 days to be processed, rather than the usual 5 to 10. Our problem is that our current visa was issued on the 3rd of May and expires on the 3rd of November. Therefore we can only apply on or after the 3rd of December and because it is less than the required two months it could take up to 45 days. Not really a problem other than the babies are due to be delivered on or after the 1st January. If it takes the full 45 days we will not be allowed to enter India until the 17th January. Just a little late. I have asked if we can expedite the application based on this and there is an option but it will only be available to me as the biological father, meaning Vince will not be able come until the 17th. Needless to say we are a little gutted at the moment and will be spending a great deal of time and energy lobbying the Indian High Commissioner. Lets hope that we can try and bring a little humanity to the red tape.

Grandmothers & Great Aunts

2010-09-25T23:10:00.002+08:00

Mum is in hospital at the moment having her various treatments adjusted. Mum was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia or CML a number of years ago. It is a form of slow developing leukaemia that can take 10 to 15 years before progressing to a more aggressive and terminal phase. New drugs have been developed that can prolong the progression of CML. The biggest threat to those with CML is being assaulted by others diseases such as infection. This is where things for Mum get tricky as she also has a primary immune deficiency that means she is more susceptible to infections. Add to this a few other chronic conditions and she becomes a Dr's nightmare as they try and juggle her various treatments. So it has gotten to the point that her various specialists have locked her away for 6-8 weeks in hospital to review all of her various treatments to try and optimise them.

Well today we sprung her from hospital for a few hours of retail therapy (also to go home and get a few more clothes and other essential items). Mum and Dad offered to pay for our pram and a number of months ago we laybyed our pram of choice, along with our car seats and change table (laybyed during the mid year sales and saved a few quid!! - my excuse anyway and I'm sticking to it). We took Mum to pick the layby up today. Amazingly she had never been in a Baby Shop and was blown away by the whole experience. Her idea of what was available for new babies was pretty much limited to Target, Big W, Kmart etc. We really enjoyed the experience. However we were not able to take our exciting and much anticipated purchase home. It turns out that the Grandma to be and her sister, Great Auntie Jan had discussed today's little outing and decided based on long time superstitions that the pram should not come into the house until much later in the pregnancy. So it was whisked off to Grandma's house to be safely stored until the little ones arrive. Vince felt that he needed to make it clear that Pop was not to try and put it together (like everything these days it came in a flat pack). That it was his job to put the pram together!!

So it seems that Great Nana Geekie has managed to pass this superstition on down the line. I wonder what her and Nana Florance would have thought about all of this? I feel sorry that they are not able to suspend a wedding band over a pregnant belly on a piece of hair. I feel good though that I know enough of these to make sure that they are passed on down the line.

In the picture above is Mum (right) Auntie Jan (centre) and Auntie Sandra (left) and Georgia.

Vince's lot are a whole other story for another day.

J.

Ho Ho Ho!

2010-09-24T00:40:00.001+08:00

We got a little surprise this week. We are flying out to Mumbai on Christmas day!!

I asked for a letter from our Dr to confirm the pregnancy so I could provide it to work for my parental leave request. When it arrived we got the shock of our lives. We had to respond back and ask if the dates were correct and our Dr has confirmed them. Up until now we were expecting the bundles of joy to arrive some time in mid to late January. Seems that because there are two they are due anytime after the last week of December. So now we are taking bets as to whether they will be 2010 or 2011 babies.

So we apologise to all the family for literally vacating the country for Christmas. It's not that we need to escape everyone lol. Just that we need to go and collect the new additions. We fly out on the 25th December. Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.

On an very sentimental note it would be amazing if they are born on the 1st January. It is our 20th Anniversary. The best ever Christmas and Anniversary present ever rolled into two little lives.

Just a thought...Is it fair?

2010-09-18T22:41:00.003+08:00

We are 18 weeks today. Seems to be quiet at the moment, but our next scan is not due until around week 20. Balingup is now finished and we believe we now have tenants which is a big relief. Now we can start on our house. Vince is nearing the end of his Masters and I know he is looking forward to not studying again for a while. I really am so proud of him for sticking it out. It could have been so easy to chuck it in with everything that has been going on. Our friend in the States has been told that the initial pregnancy test is positive and apparently he is bouncing off the walls. Sounds like fun and we are so very happy for him.

Now for the thought for the week. We have just spent the night with our amazing friend who lost her husband last month. It was great to spend some time with her and the boys. We have really missed them over the weeks and really needed to spend the time with them. As we do when we get together we sit and talk for ages. A topic that came up was guardianship for the twins. As the biological father I have all the usual rights as a parent. However as my Partner, under current laws, Vince has no parental rights. This means we have to go through the courts to get guardianship of the Twins for Vince so that if God forbid something happens to me or if the kids ever have to go to hospital, he is recognised as the legal guardian and next of kin. This I believe is not to much of an arduous process but can be costly having to get legal advice and council. However if we want to go that step further and apply for Vince to adopt we apparently have Buckley's chance and would have to spend thousands of dollars fighting through the courts. This we have been told is hard enough for step parents in straight families and next to near impossible for gay male parents. If you are a gay lesbian couple you can put your names on the birth certificate right from the word go (and that is great).

In January this year a whole swag of Federal legislation changed to recognise gay couples as defacto partners. Guess which ones. All the ones that allowed the government to tax and charge them as equal to straight couples. So the government gave us a whole lot of equality, as long as it got a few more cents out of us. So we pay the same taxes as a family unit with a double income, even though Vince has no legal recognition as a parent. Now does that seem fair.

Don't get me wrong. Some of the changes were very positive in regards to superannuation and inheritance. I also believe we should be paying our fair share of taxes. But, on equal footing as a family unit (regardless of marriage, which is a whole other debate). I have never really been very active as a campaigner for gay rights and so far have believed that they will evolve as society evolves. Marriage would be nice. We have been together for many more years than some of our separated and divorced friends and family and really do not believe that it is something we need to have. Not being recognised as a whole family unit is however, I believe, unfair. I'm sure that the two Grandmothers would agree that it stinks!

J.

PS: Between the two of them and some amazing friends, we no longer need any size 0000-00. In fact I think we will be able to cloth half an orphanage!! I have also been told that pink is fine and if they are both boys, no one sees what they wear at home. We are not allowed to know the sex of the babies until they arrive because it is against the law in India due to infanticide. So they are covering all the bases. Both Grandfathers however are getting shitty with all the "but it was on sale" excuses. Talk about piggy in the middle.

Where it all began....

2010-09-09T19:55:00.001+08:00

I met Vince through a work colleague, Irene. Irene and I worked at a Nursing Home in South Perth. It was how I earned spending money while I was at Uni (I was spoilt enough to have folks who pretty much kept me). Irene and I became very close friends and I met Vince through her. Eventually we started seeing each other regularly and things just happened. I never got to use my nursing to travel the world, which is one of the reasons I chose that career. I was not going to let go of something I knew felt so right and have never regretted it for a minute. We have done so much and achieved so much together and now we are about to start a whole new chapter. Maybe we can use our nursing to show the kids the world. After all it is one of those jobs that has no age limit (relatively speaking) to getting working visas. This entry came about because I came across the first photo of us together and felt that I needed to share it. Irene and I had a falling out over my relationship with Vince and I don't know where she is today, but where ever she is I thank her from the bottom of my heart for introducing us. I have to laugh at the emu export can and cigarettes. We loved to have a drink and watch movies. I think the smiles say it all really.

On another note, some friends of ours told us today that they are going to take the plunge and follow in our foot steps. They are planning to start the process in the next month or so and we wish them luck. The best thing is that one of my main motivations for starting this blog was to share information and it seems that it is working. It is also a record for our family of the process we have gone through. Something we can reflect on in years to come. We are happy for people to contact for information and advice. Or to offer the same.

J.

Lucky

2010-09-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

Another trip to Balingup done and dusted. Quick overnight trip, but we got alot done. Again the best thing about these trips over the past weeks has been the amount of talking we have been doing. One of the strongest parts of our relationship is that we can do this. Three hours in the car flies by and we chat consistently about work, friends, family, plans, beliefs and I could go on. After almost twenty years together the conversation never seems to dull. It does, as we get older, become a little repetitious at times, but never dull. The conversations now have a new vigour as we alter old plans, make new ones and imagine what could be. We never have to work at this. It seems to come naturally.

Today I also realised that we have never once had a fight were one or both of us has walked away hurt or scarred. Of course we have disagreements but they usually only involve a curt word or slightly raised voice. We have sometimes carried a little anger overnight, but is is always resolved quickly. Maybe it is because we are both Pisces. I'm not sure. But I know that we do respect each other immensely. If one of us is feeling hurt or maligned, the other usually picks up on it pretty quick and we then go on to discuss the problem and move on passed it. I am hoping that this will continue and that the little ones will learn this quality from us. I hope this doesn't sound all sickly sweet. It is how I felt today and what was going on in my mind and so wanted to share it. We love each other and our house, I believe, will be a place of love and a home for our children.

I am lucky.

Gay Dads

2010-09-03T22:13:00.002+08:00

Well I am beginning to think that today was Gay Dads day. Firstly my Mum rang me this morning all choked up with tears of joy. Apparently her and Dad had woken up this morning and watched Sunrise. There was a story on about a Sydney family of two Dads with their twin boy and girl. I knew it was on and so had taped it. I think it made things really hit home for both the folks. That it is happening. The guys appeared to be a great couple and their kids were gorgeous. I am grateful that the story ran because it also showed the folks that there are others out there and that maybe, just maybe, things are going to be OK.

Then also today we got some other news. While in India we met another guy named Steve from America who was also there to use a surrogacy service. His partner was home in the States. Unfortunately not everything went to plan and after spending three weeks in Mumbai Steve returned home a little disillusioned. Steve contacted us today to say that things were back on track and we are so very happy for him. It has been really great to be able to share our journeys. We have joked about our kids being pen pals! We were meant to fly out to the States for a 4 week tour a week ago. Something we had to cancel because of the costs of what we are doing. We were sad because we had been planning the trip for a couple of years. It was a trip meant for Vince's 40th and also for our long service. Our friends Audrey and Leslie also live in the States and we were meant to stay with them and their little boy Cooper. What we are expecting now definitely cancels out the sadness, but there is still a little regret. I told Steve today that we had opened a special saving account so that when the kids are older we can take them to Disney Land, to meet Aunts Audrey and Leslie and little Coop, as well as to meet our new friends family.

Tomorrow we are 16 weeks and everything seems to be going well.

Fathers

2010-08-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

I have had the most rewarding weekend this weekend. Dad decided to come down to Balingup with us this weekend. Just what the Doctor ordered. Over that past 4 weeks he has been sticking to a strict diet ordered by his endocrinologist. We have also been on a diet, but not as strict. Last night we let our hair down and lit the wood BBQ to cook some sausages to have on bread. Dad and I had a beer sitting next to the BBQ because it was so bloody cold. We did some reminiscing and also talked about the babies and we also had a great laugh. I made bush toast (toast done on the BBQ plate) . Then tonight we shared a bottle of Baileys after bacon and egg sandwiches eaten in front of the fire. It was so good to relax and enjoy his company. Him and Vince get along so well and they work well together. He reminds me of Pop so much now because by 7pm he is looking for the "sack" as he calls it. I hope I get to create these types of memories. Also can't wait to see how he copes with two at once.

Fare thee well

2010-08-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

Today we said goodbye and fare thee well to Patrick. He would have been a little overwhelmed by the turn out at the ceremony. People literally came from far and wide to pay their respects. The ceremony was also as he would have liked it, focused on his family.

His life was gentle; and the elements so mixed in him, that nature might stand up and say to all the world, this was a man - William Shakespeare

Time moves slowly, time passes on......

2010-08-21T09:05:00.004+08:00

A week today and it all seems so surreal still. Two huge events in our life seem to have collided to produce a semblance of balance. Peripherally we lost an Aunt as well, but she is now at rest. A well deserved rest after a long battle. Our thoughts are with all of our cousins. It seems that there is a larger pool of people waiting to welcome us to the other side when it finally is our time and knowing the group that is gathering they will all be at peace.

Until it is our time to follow the path to our lost loved ones, we should embrace life, love and support those around us and ensure that we have many stories to tell when our journey ends. For those that are about to join our journey we want to be able to pass on our memories and stories.

J.

Angels

2010-08-18T21:54:00.003+08:00

This afternoon we received a very welcome email. It seems that we are still being blessed. Our wonderful surrogate is well and healthy. The reduction went smoothly and we are still expecting a set of twins that appear healthy and are doing everything they should be.

This went a long way towards lifting our bruised hearts and I know Patrick would have been just as stoked as we are.

A friend told me that our third little one is now our own Angel. Angels mean a lot to me and I found this very comforting.

We are now 13 and a half weeks down the road and so far there have been no major pot holes. Lets hope that this highway goes on for another 27 or so weeks, to finally arrive at our highly anticipated destination. As life goes on around us, knowing that this is where we are heading helps, to get through the tougher times and adds that little bit extra to the better times.

I went back to work today and was not sure how I would get through the day. I am great at crying and it seems to come so easy to me, but I really do get embarrassed by it. I needn't worry though, really. I am always overwhelmed with how compassionate people can be. I am also a great one for hugs and today I was spoilt with many from my amazing Friends and colleagues. As much as Royal Perth can be a hard place to work sometimes, the people who work there seem to make it all worth while and sometimes it can actually be a great place for solace. I have also really enjoyed seeing all of the tributes on FB for Patrick and the amount of love being sent towards his family. Being a believer in Karma I know this will flow to where it needs to be. Hearing from many people from my past has also been very uplifting. As much as I try to live in the here and now, I do take joy in my past. It never hurts to look back over your shoulder. You never know who might be following behind you.

I don't know how to say thank you to everyone who have been so supportive and have offered so many kind words of love and comfort other that to say that you are in my heart. I also need to mention the one person who seems to always be standing behind me with a steadying hand, has just the right whispered words of strength or hug. He is my heart, my soul and my life and I can only wonder at the joy that is him. Mon Ange.

Loss

2010-08-16T21:47:00.034+08:00

Amongst the joy, we now have the discernible pain of loss. Earlier in the history of this blog I referred to my mate who was always there with the right thing to say. Well his name was Patrick Phillis. He was born on the 12 of February 1972, almost a month before me. A fact I always had the pleasure of reminding him off. I have some very true dear friends in my life and I love them all immeasurably. But he was my mate. My straight mate who loved and accepted me for who I was.

Sadly my mate died unexpectedly at around 730pm on Saturday the 14th August just North of Waroona when his car left the road and rolled. Patrick died at the scene. He had just left us at 6pm from our house in Balingup where we were working on our house there. He had been working on his house in Bridgetown and was returning to Perth to pick up his two sons and then head on home. We both knew given history that he may well die young, but never expected it to be at the age of 38. His Dad was killed years earlier on the mines in Kambalda on the 18th of August. A week that all of us will now remember with even greater sorrow.

I introduced Patrick to his amazing wife Lorissa when he came to stay with me at the Nurses Quarters (Anstey House) at SCGH. They would later hook up at my 21st and then the rest is history. Two stupendous boys, James and Thomas, who Vince and I have had the pleasure of watching grow. The only real blue Patrick and I had was when he found out that I had said in passing (and out of context) that he was not good enough for Lorissa. However this statement would come out of the closet again just after the birth of their second son, Thomas. His arrival was marked with uncertain drama which then unfolded during the first months of his life. Patrick was awe struck at Lorissa's strength and resolve and he mentioned on one of our visits to Bridgetown where they lived at the time, that maybe I had been right all along. I know that it will be that strength and resolve that will hold his remaining loved ones together.

Needless to say their are so many memories, cubs, scouts (Gummerooka), cadets (Northam), Esperance, daily school bus trips, Sylvester's nightclub and family holidays. I could go on to write a small novel about our lives. The pain comes from the fact that there were supposed to be so many more. I was supposed to be able to go on tapping into that fountain of knowledge that he held so very deep. I have always called him the only redneck I knew with culture. I am going to miss our lunch time man dates to watch WASO. Discussions (sometimes slightly heated) over politics. His patriotism and love for this country.

Patrick never liked the idea of Facebook and other social networks. But I know that he followed this blog and would prompt me when I had not written anything for a couple of days. It is my belief that it was his way of showing his unwavering support for me and my family, especially for the new members that are on the way. Some of his values swung strongly from the right, but when it came to Vince and I he was more to the left than us.

I loved him and will always miss him. My mate.

"The greatest pleasure I have ever known is when my eyes meet the eyes of a mate over the top of two foaming glasses of beer" - Henry Lawson. Except in Patricks case it was always Turkey and real coke. Not that Zero or Diet shit and definitely not from a tap. From the bottle (preferably glass if available) or nothing.

Frustrated

2010-08-13T18:40:00.001+08:00

It has now been 10 days since the embryo reduction and we are still waiting to hear what the outcome has been. The follow up scan was likely done on Thursday and now waiting for the results to come through. I am frustrated and can't help it. Trying to keep busy with the renovations on Balingup, but I think it is affecting my mood more than I care to know. Poor Vince. It has been raining and last night a big branch fell off the huge almond tree in the back yard. Our neighbour has offered to come and cut it up with his chainsaw. Maybe I should use it and try and get rid of some of this frustration. Well back to it.

Second Verse, Hopefully Same as the First!

2010-08-07T09:09:00.001+08:00

Given that all has gone well (still have not heard from India, so can only assume that things are OK) we are 12 weeks today and now enter into the second trimester. Doing a little dance again! We arrived in Balingup last night absolutely exhausted from being crook with the flu this week and knowing what we have ahead of us this weekend (although at the moment pretty sure not much will get done because we feel so crappy) and had a strange realisation. We had just spent 3 1/2 hours in the car and talked the whole time. No music or silence. Just a steady stream of excited chatter about what if and when.

Anxious Again

2010-08-05T19:03:00.001+08:00

We were advised that the embryo reduction would proceed on Tuesday just gone and we sent our support to our wonderful surrogate as best we could (with prayers and messages of encouragement), because we know that an anaesthetic and hospital procedure can be scary. Now we again have an anxious wait to see if the procedure was successful and if the remaining two little ones are OK.

This week has definitely been the hardest of this journey. There are so many issues that we have had to wrestle with surrounding the loss of one of the little ones. There are those who do not agree with what is extensively an abortion and worrying about how they would react to this. Those that felt we should never have been in this situation to begin with. Those who have not asked, but we know they are worried. Those who ask and want to know why, how and when. Those who are just there. And these are all legitimate beliefs and responses from all the people in our life. It is a little harder because we were a little unsure where our beliefs sat. We knew one thing for sure and that was that it was not our decision to make. It was entirely up to our surrogate, to ensure her health and ensure a safe pregnancy. Another big issue was, did we make a mistake sharing so much. Has it helped us by sharing. Will it help others that we know are watching. Who knows? What we do know is that it hurts. Sharing things can help the hurt. It is also a record of how things are. Maybe a starting point in the future when we get asked why?

No one has been negative and for that we love our friends and family. We have just tried to be honest and this has for us mostly meant being quiet as we grapple with what this has meant and will continue to mean to us. Quiet to enable us to reflect and come to terms with where we are now. Quiet to think. Quiet to heal the hurt. Quiet to pray that we come out the other end with what we want more than anything. Quiet to be in awe of the gift that we are being given.

On a brighter note, we heard today that two couples close to our hearts are pregnant and are filled with joy for them.

This photo was taken in 2006 in Japan. You make a wish as you offer your prayer. 2 guesses what my wish was??

11 Weeks

2010-08-01T15:06:00.001+08:00

We received our next lot of images and when we opened them we both got very emotional. More so than at any other stage of this journey. We were a little worried that having all of this information so early on in the pregnancy would make the pregnancy seem very long after being told this by a few people. But if this is the feeling you get when ever something comes through from India then I hope it is the longest pregnancy ever.

I was talking about this with my sister in law this weekend and said that it was a little hard because all of the action was happening on another continent. That we could not see the "bump" and would not feel the babies kicking. So these emails are fairly precious to us. I also said that I was concerned that we would not have the chance to bond. Mothers bond with a baby while carrying them and Dad's can always talk to the baby. Janine said not to worry, that we would make up for it when the babies finally arrive. In a way we are also lucky that we will have 4 weeks to bond while we are waiting to bring the babies home. We will have nothing else to do but bond with them.

I also want to mention a special mate of mine. He has been through what we are going through and often jokes that his 18 year sentence is almost up. But he has been very supportive and always seems to have the right thing to say. I know he reads this so hopefully this will earn a few browny points!! lol. J.

Amazing

2010-07-26T18:37:00.000+08:00

As much as my job is really busy at the moment and like everyone else, I pray to the powerball gods everynight, I am really really lucky to work with some great people. Always positive, supportive and genuinely inquisitive. My friend Jane has knitted a beautiful rainbow rug. They make work bearable, especially when you would much rather be somewhere else.

It is weird though. Today was the first day that I actually stopped and realised that I will be giving up work for a while and that it will no longer be the priority it always has been. I have no intentions of not going back and hope to continue in the career path I am currently on but I now have to think and plan how this is going to be achievable. I guess that this is one great thing about Nursing. With the paid parental leave we get as part of our award and with the government (depending on which party wins!) paid leave, I should be able to have the first twelve months off with out to much pain. We also then have the option of another twelve months leave with out pay and during that time we can work casually. So I know that I have the option to pretty much stay at home for the first two years.

Gotta be happy with that.

10

2010-07-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

Double digits. Not much else to say today. Moving forward with the same joy. But sometimes others can really kick you in the guts. Enough on that. Shields up and on we go.

Researching the Modern Family

2010-07-15T22:07:00.005+08:00

Thank God for Dr Google. Where would we be with out all those forums. Funny though. I actually am enjoying hearing from those around us who have plenty to share. Why re-invent the wheel. I know that we are streaks ahead in some areas (Vince being Paed trained and I having done a smidgen of neonates). But it is still great to have the experience of others. We are lucky that we have watched our friends and families kids grow over the years and to have sometimes been included in many of the trials and tribulations. I really am not worried by how we are going to manage. Of course we won't know until we are in the thick of it, but at the moment I have a lovely calmness that is like that feeling you get after a nip of raw alcohol. It burns softly in the depths of your tummy :-).

Finances, well that is another thing altogether. The thought of losing my "disposable" income is daunting and those who know me best will understand. 5 and 10 year plans are out the window and the new ones are on hold until a special delivery arrives. Vince thinks it's great because I am watching every penny and making sure that it counts. Given the added cost of actually using a surrogacy service we have been making sure that we start collecting things evenly over the pregnancy. I know that some think us mad. Wives tales and all. We have our feet planted on the ground and know we have a long way to go. However now that this is a real option that can be pursued with light at the end of the tunnel it's full steam ahead. There have been many stories of others having problems and hiccups while following this path, but I am yet to find one where there was not an eventual positive outcome.

So given all of that. Watch out EBay, Big W, Baby on a Budget, Baby'sRus (bugger Myer and DJs)and all the others. Here we come. My cousin Jenny used to be the lay by Queen. Well this cousin is going to give her a run for her money. So far we have felt like somewhat of a novelty to those who have served us (and we can't help playing on it a little) but it is great to be fussed over. Most get a little shock at how informed we are. I know I have even seen a hint of "Modern Family" in their beaming smile as we fuss over how gorgeous things are.